Today I want to focus on being thankful for the little things first, the things that usually escape our attention because we take them for granted. You don’t have to look far to find people who cannot say the same.

• Blogging for example. Those of us who blog have access to a phone or computer and internet, which is a luxury some cannot afford. We also live in a nation where there’s relative freedom of speech and no regulations on how we use the medium of the blog so we write in peace, without looking over our shoulders or wondering who is reading (well, besides those family members and friends we may not want to read!).
• All week, when I got home from work, I’ve asked myself what I feel like having for dinner. Thank God for choice! Sure, some options are more appealing than others but I will not starve, and my cupboards have never been bare. Two nights ago I was saying to myself “Oh, I only have beef in the house; I want chicken, or fish.” It is a blessing to be able to make statements like that.
• I’m very attached to my family, even though I don’t live with them anymore. I’ve also become more attached to my family in Nigeria since my last visit. I am thankful that I can easily drop them a line to let them know I’m thinking of them thanks to phones and the internet. Just think of what people in Haiti and their family elsewhere were going through when those in Haiti couldn’t reach their loved ones to let them know they are ok. It’s very stressful for both sides
• I know, I’m weird, but I’m going to mention toilet paper because it is something we all take for granted. I already told you about my favourite toilet paper, and maybe it’s weird to even have a favourite, especially since I’m sure most of you never think about the stuff. It’s a most wonderful innovation; better, in my opinion, than sliced bread!

And some wonderful things that have happened in the lives of my friends:

1. My friend V got a new job and she starts on Monday. She has a lot of skills that are very much in demand, and though her industry is a bit volatile and subject to layoffs, she continues to thrive. She’ll be working for a little company that you may have heard of since they are the makers of the BlackBerry, so you can bet I’ve already tried to use my connections to get a free Blackberry (despite my efforts, no such luck!).
2. My friend A who was in a very toxic work environment has gotten out! I hate to see sweet people who are hardworking get abused in any way, and her work was beginning to be detrimental to her health.
3. V (from #1) and her husband have also upgraded their car situation! It’s always great to see people around you thriving!

Ok, your turn: big or little, what are you grateful for?

Filed under: Thankful Thursdays by goodnaijagirl | 17 Comments »

My grandmother had three sets of twins. The youngest set of fraternal twins, my uncles, are so interesting: Uncle Taye* is the spitting image of my grandmother, while his slightly younger brother my Uncle Kehinde* favours his father. Uncle Taye married a lovely, hard-working woman and they had two sons, followed by a set of twin girls! My mother is especially happy that her baby brother is now tormented by his two daughters who appear to be identical twins. When we were in Nigeria a year and a half ago, I know that one of the twins was missing an earring and was possibly taller or shorter, and that’s how I differentiated them. One loved the camera while the other was literally scared of it. It was always a challenge to snap a picture before she realized what was going on and started crying.

The girls were so mischievous! If there was something you didn’t want them to get into, they’d be there, leaving destruction in their path. I so badly wanted to cuddle them but good luck tying them down long enough to get close!

And they had such enormous appetites! Seriously between them they could polish off a helping of iyan that would make me push the plate away half way through.

I can’t wait to see them again, to see how their personalities have solidified or developed. I’m particularly fond of twins (as if they need any more attention!) so I’m hoping I can get to know them a bit better next time.

*For the non-Nigerians Taye (or Taiwo) and Kehinde are the names traditionally given to twins by the Yoruba people: Taye is the name given to the elder twin, while Kehinde is given to the younger twin. The names’ meanings reflect this birth order but I don’t know the full version of each name. I’m not sure if this is a new thing but I noticed that some twins aren’t being called Taye/Kehinde anymore but prefer to be called by one of their other names instead.

Bonus trivia: Nigeria has the highest rate of twins in the world! I already knew this but while looking up information on how to increase your chance of having twins (not for me o!), I came across this article which made me laugh because it lists “Eat Yams” as one of the ways to increase your chances!

Filed under: My Nigeria by goodnaijagirl | 24 Comments »

This week I’m thankful that my friend Camryn and her husband got their papers to immigrate to Canada! I cannot wait to see her in the spring.

Well, I mean I can’t wait to meet her!

We’ve known each other for over six years but we met online. Almost immediately she referred to me as “sis” and I always felt like her big sister. In fact I think there was a time when my sister was a bit annoyed that I had met someone who lived so far away who called me sis. Camryn is Filipino and although she moved around a bit, she stayed pretty far away from me, spending time in Dubai and Singapore. We have exchanged a few cards and letters over the years, and in recent years apart from a marathon chat session on yahoo once or twice a year, we don’t keep in contact very regularly. However wee managed to maintain some closeness (I guess we set a good foundation in earlier years).

I remember when she was finishing her studies (in architecture) and writing exams. I remember before her wedding we talked about how cool it would be if I could attend but we never discussed it past that. I remember receiving the link to view her wedding pictures online. She was an absolutely gorgeous bride. She has a relative in the US and I remember her mentioning a couple of times that we should try to meet up one of these days if she ever visits her aunt.

Then a few years ago she mentioned that she and her husband were trying to immigrate to Canada. I didn’t know if it was a plan or if they had taken formal action but here we are, nearly three years later. They were able to both come here under the Federal Skilled Worker program and I’m so happy for them that everything came into place at long last. The process wasn’t quick and there were undoubtedly some frustrations and expense (including time) involved, but they made it and will be permanent residents of Canada once they arrive; no need to worry about renewing visas. I’m so happy for them!

Of course I have to use them as an example for anyone who’s trying to move to a country where they think they might have better opportunities to realize their dreams. Know what you’re getting into and get yourself accurate information, from the appropriate sources. Several my family members have asked us for information and advice, received it, then thrown it in the trash while clinging to the “easier to hear” “advice” offered by one neighbour or friend who has never gone through the process or situation he or she is advising on. And of course in nearly all of the cases the result has been money and time wasted. One of our cousins did follow the advice with favourable results, but unfortunately he passed away and was not ever able to come to Canada (RIP Joseph).

The Canadian government website for immigration is here. If you are a student or want to study in Canada, if you are a professional and want to work here, or if you have a family member already in Canada and you want to know if they can sponsor you, you can find information that addresses your situation there. I focused on Canada but most countries have a similar websites that can give anyone willing to do the research the information they need.

There are some who have to stop thinking that there’s an easy way around the rules and regulations that govern the country they are considering moving to. These rules and sense of order may be the things they eventually appreciate about the country, even though they are annoying at first. Yes, the process can be long and frustrating, but if you read up on things, find trustworthy people who are living where you want to be who can give you a true picture of what things are like, and if you ensure you can cover the associated costs, the result will be something lovely like it was for Camryn and her husband.

Filed under: Immigrant issues, Thankful Thursdays by goodnaijagirl | 14 Comments »

If everything goes according to my heart’s desire (and that happens approximately 0% of the time), I will meet a lovely Nigerian guy, we will date for a little while, he will propose to me (white gold ring with a modest sparkling stone in hand), and then I will be flung into making decisions like how our families will be introduced to each other, what size of wedding we can afford without having to sell our kidneys and where and when to have the engagement (traditional wedding) and the White wedding.

Right now, my plan is to have the Engagement in Nigeria. This way my extended family will get to meet my groom and they will also get to witness a milestone in my life. Also, it would give us a chance to throw a party that people would hopefully enjoy. The only “problem” with this is I know my non-Nigerian friends would love to see what the Engagement is like, especially when they find out there’s a part of the Yoruba Engagement where the bride is traditionally supposed to kneel in front of her husband to feed him. I won’t deny that as it stands now, I’m thinking of arranging for NEPA taking light during that part of the ceremony so that when the electricity is restored I can say that they all missed me kneeling. Yup, I said it! I understand the tradition with respect to kneeling for elders but a small part of me cringes at this part of the Engagement. I went to a Yoruba/Angolan wedding (groom was from Angola) and when it came time for his bride to kneel to feed him, he actually grabbed her arms and pull her up before she knelt. I want a groom that would do that!

I know, I know, submissive wife…Bible…but I can be submissive without kneeling, can’t I? The other thing I could do is use the “I wasn’t raised in Nigeria so I didn’t know I was supposed to kneel during the Traditional wedding” excuse. I expect the “I wasn’t born in Naija” excuse will get me out of many tight spots in the future! Anyway, the Engagement will be recorded and I can show it to my friends afterwards.

That means the White wedding will be in Canada. This will allow my friends (100% of whom I know will not be able to pack up their families and travel to Nigeria) to see GNG get married. Of course, Nigerian food and attire would be incorporated into this wedding, and I’m quite giddy at the thought of planning it. It’s far more exciting to me to think of planning this than the Engagement, because I don’t think I’ll have any say in the Engagement. I don’t know the traditions and the order the whole thing is supposed to follow; I will just be a puppet that day.

Before I get all excited, I need to find the groom first! With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I’m tempted to organize another Online Meeting Project! Although I can’t announce that any couples from Round 1 are engaged, I have received positive feedback from people who participated. Some bachelors had sent me their info too late and I told them they would be included in the next round.

I have some of questions:

1. If you aren’t married yet, how are you thinking of organizing your wedding?
2. How many of you married folk felt like you had a lot of say in either the Traditional or White wedding?
3. If you live outside of Nigeria, did you split up your Engagement/White weddings like I’m thinking of doing?

Filed under: Celebration, Finding a good Naija man by goodnaijagirl | 32 Comments »

There were a lot of blog entries referring to Haiti last week, and I would like to encourage us to continue to keep the relief and rescue efforts in our thoughts and prayers. When something devastating happens far away from us, it’s easy for it to drift from our minds as our daily things occupy our mind. Please continue to give in any way you can. There are so many initiatives around; google “help Haiti” to find some.

I came across an initiative by blogger Estella that I’d like to share, the Sew for Haiti project. She is encouraging anyone who knows how to sew to commit to sewing something, anything that you think would be appreciated by someone in Haiti. It could be a pillow, a toy, or articles of clothing. The last time I checked her blog she was still trying to find the best way to get the items to Haiti but in the meantime if you are talented in that way, do whip something up. Estella has encouraged you to include an encouraging note or prayer with the item. If you can’t sew and live in the Metro DC area, Estella is offering to teach you how to sew for free, with the goal being that you will commit to sew something for this very worthy cause.

Like I said, my office is on the same floor as the Haitian embassy. I see people from the embassy daily, on the elevator or in the bathroom, and other than a hello, I can’t seem to figure out what to say that would be encouraging. Instead of feeling bad about that, I have resolved to pray more. I may not be able to do more than contribute financially to the relief efforts, but I can pray for the Haitians and express thanks to all of the people who have left their own busy lives to devote their time and expertise to helping out physically.

I don’t know if any of you have seen news reports that came out last week where people who have lost so much were praising God for sparing their lives and singing! It’s one thing to be saying “Thank you God for sparing me/my family” but actually singing? Wow! That was so touching. These are people who have lost anything from their homes, documents, precious things to their limbs in some cases or family members, yet they were able to raise their voices in song. It blew my mind, serving as another example of “in all things, give thanks”. Of course they are hurting, crushed, sad and feeling other emotions I can’t even guess, but that so soon after this huge life changing event they could raise their voices in song humbles me. I know I could not. I am not there yet.

Are you?

Filed under: Causes, Thankful Thursdays by goodnaijagirl | 12 Comments »

To those of you who asked questions about staying in the village, my mom would correct you rather quickly and tell you that Akure is not a village, that it is the capital city of Ondo state and its largest city to boot, with a population of approximately 387 087 people (thanks, Wikipedia). Of course it’s a very small city compared to Lagos (according to wiki the population of Lagos is over 17.5 million? Wow!), but it’s a city nevertheless. And like most places, there are parts with paved roads, running water and (thanks to generators) air conditioning and electricity, but there are also parts that are kicking it oldschool, with a small generator when needed, no running water and dirt roads. My grandmother’s youngest sister lives two streets over and her house puts my parents’ place to shame, it’s so fancy inside.

To answer other questions, I was last in Nigeria in 2008 and I hope to go either this year or in 2011. It’s my preference to go in October/November so that I can miss out on some of the chilly weather here, but my co-travelers (mom and sister) want to go earlier in the year. December in Nigeria sounds like it would be too hectic for me, and to be honest I like spending Christmas with all my immediate family and since my brothers don’t have the money to go to Naija anytime soon, Christmas must be in Canada.

There were so many other great suggestions for things to bring to naija as relates to the bathroom and personal grooming:

• flashlight – this is a must! Actually I have to talk about flashlights in a separate entry
• personal cleansing products (body wash with salicylic acid in it, deodorant – the natural kind, hand sanitizer, Evian facial spritzer (I love this idea…I’ll be sure to bring a few spray bottles to fill with water, just in case aerosol cans aren’t allowed on the flight), body splash/perfume (I may not do this due to not wanting to attract mosquitoes), toothpaste, sponges, face wash, etc.)
• a caftan (love this idea of having something fancier than a towel wrapped around me when I’m going to bathe)
• insect killer (a must for me, seeing as I’m such a chicken!)
• insect repellant (I’m adding this one to the list)

Omosi had a great suggestion that’ll come in handy if my luggage is too heavy this time around: When we land in Lagos I can buy some of my supplies there, saving space in the suitcases. If there’s anything missing from the above or from this entry, do speak up!

For me, planning the trip is most of the fun, from sorting out what to bring/what not to bring, packing things efficiently to mapping out how to see everyone we want to see and making sure we have enough time to do everything.

Today I want to talk about clothing and accessories. Last time, I packed too many items that I didn’t wear once in nearly four weeks. I had two large suitcases, both oversize (though, to be fair my mom had packed a lot of stuff in my luggage), but even if you remove all my mom’s cargo, I still had far too much stuff. I was amazed that Adaora managed to pack all her things into a suitcase small enough to be her carry-on! Her reason was she doesn’t trust the airline to make sure her clothing would make it to Naija but still, she blew me away.

This time, I’m focusing on lightweight pieces that can do double duty or be layered/remixed to create different looks. There’s this miracle dress that would be fabulous but it does not come in my size (and I do not have the body to rock it). I’d rather run out of clothing and have to wear something twice in a row than bring a bunch of stuff for nothing (the exception is undergarments where the rule there is the more the merrier!).

But those of you who are seasoned travelers, what clothing items or shoes are absolute musts? Here are mine (keep in mind I don’t go to many fancy events when I’m in Naija, and my style is “CASUAL”):

Clothing

• 10 or more lightweight t-shirts and tanktops
• 5-8 lightweight skirts, shorts, skorts and capris to go with the tees and tanks
• 1 pair of jeans (I still don’t understand how anyone can wear long pants in that weather but maybe I’ll try)
• 1 hoodie for cooler evenings
• 1 casual dress
• 1 fabulous dressy dress

I don’t have to pack any traditional since I will be getting ankara made like crazy! I’m excited just thinking about it and about how much more daring I will be with styles this time around. Everything I brought back looks so boring (it definitely screams old lady). (Also, it fits a lot more snugly since um…being in Nigeria and doing so much walking and sweating took a few pounds off!)

Accessories

• 1 pair of dressy heeled sandals in black, brown or bronze (should go with dressier outfits)
• 1 pair of closed-toe heeled shoes (preference: in a fun colour)
• 1-2 pairs of flat shoes in black (one would be ballet-flat style and the other a dressy sandal…maybe gladiator style)
• 1 pair of bathroom flip flops
• 1 clutch to match the dressy sandals
• 1 basic purse
• A pair of earrings for everyday wear, 2 pairs of dressier earrings, one necklace/earring combo for dressier events and maybe one necklace for everyday wear (it’s so hot that I’ll probably want to have as little on as possible)

I’m still debating whether to bring a pair of sneakers/running shoes and socks. I did last time but didn’t use them at all.

I wonder how closely what I actually pack will match the above. At least I have good intentions.

Filed under: Traveling to Nigeria by goodnaijagirl | 15 Comments »