The kind of 30-something I want to be


I’m 34 years old and I’m ok with my upcoming 35th birthday because I’ve decided to trust God regarding being an older mom. Sure I’m not where I thought I would be by now but that’s ok, as long as I’m inching forward. If like me you’re in your 30s and life has been a bit boring lately and way too sedentary for your liking, read on about one real and one fictional (who’s so real!) who’ve inspired me. Both have qualities I’d like to have: openness, fun-seeking, fearlessness (or doing things despite their fear), and contentment.

Sarah Von Bargen

I subscribe to the email newsletters of a certain Sarah Von Bargen of Yes and Yes and they’re the only email newsletters I look forward to receiving each week because her enthusiasm for life jumps off the page at you. Since I’m an inspiration junkie, the fact that she seems to be constantly inspired and has worked to fill her life with things she wants to do appeals so much to me.

I was genuinely surprised when I learned a couple of weeks ago that she’s 34, like me! I would never have guessed, because of her carefree vibe and her looks—my guess would have been mid-to-late 20s—I want to appear younger than I am!. She makes lists of things she wants to try and actually does them! She comes up with smart things we all know but need to hear again and again like her Bad/Break rule: When something or someone is making you feel bad, you need to make a break for it. She’s built a location-independent business and creates tons of value for people both on her “personal” blog and her business website. I know, I’m totally smitten! I’m not only inspired by the life she’s created but by the fun and energy that jump out at me when I read her work.

Lately I’ve been content to relax at home or at someone else’s house instead of doing stuff—there’s a time for both but I need to be more active if I want to change my current circumstances. If I follow through with my goals for 2014 then there will definitely be more activity in my life.

Erica Strange

Erica is the fictional heroine of the awesome Canadian show Being Erica. She’s a 32 year old who’s dealing with the fact that life hasn’t turned out at all as she expected—she hasn’t found a career despite having a masters degree, she’s single, and she feels a bit like a failure as you can imagine. She has a lot of regrets in her life and at her lowest point she meets Dr. Tom, who has the ability to let her revisit her past and have a do-over, to see if changing her actions in certain situations would actually change anything in the present day. There are so many lessons to be learned from the show and I totally fell in love with the story line, which showed Ms. Erica slowly coming into her own as a confident and self-aware woman (Note: it’s not a Christian show so there are some elements that may not sit well with everyone!).

I’m not a big tv person so I’m glad I listened when a friend insisted more than once that I get my hands on the show because I was hooked from the first episode! In that episode Erica tells her family and friend “I’m suffocating under the weight of your collective disapproval” and I can relate to that, though in my case it’s my own disappointment that gets me. Anyway, I watched all four seasons last year and I just started watching them again last week. The show is aspirational and inspirational and it would be handy to have my own physical Dr. Tom around to challenge and guide me. I guess this is why people pay for life coaches—I have no doubt that a good one can help anyone move ahead in their life.

Other inspiration

I discovered Joyce Meyer’s Enjoying Everyday Life podcast recently and I’m enjoying the bible-based insight she shares that really is for everyday life. I wish I could say I start each day by reading my bible and doing my devotions, but the truth is most days all I manage is to say “Thank you God for another day on your earth” before rushing to work. The Power Thoughts series was apt because it’s about things you have to start or stop thinking if you want to change your outlook on life, which in turn will actually lead to a changed life.

Who’s inspiring you right now?

18 thoughts on “The kind of 30-something I want to be

  1. First up, I love your picture! It’s cute and funny too.
    Then moving on, Mary Jane (I know I know, of all people *hands over face*) is some sort of an inspiration. She’s on top of her game although she knocks herself down for not being where she’d like to be relationship-wise, she picks herself up and keeps going on to achieve. The achieving aspect of her inspires moi!

    • Hi Missy Tee—thanks for sharing! You know what? The same friend who recommended Being Erica thought I should check out Being Mary Jane (though that was before she watched it). I need to ask her how she’s liking it so far. I don’t have BET so I’ll probably have to wait until after the first season to watch it, unless it’s online somewhere. Now I want to watch it!

  2. Love love love! Your picture especially.

    Turning 35 has had me feeling all sorts of ways. In fact, I’m having a midlife crisis, taking selfies, dressing different…

    Now you’ve given me a new perspective.
    *Joins “acting silly for the camera” club*

    • Thank you! :)

      I would never have guessed you were 35—you look like you’re in your 20s! You’ve achieved some accomplishments that are still on my to do list (marriage, children) so that’s great!

      It sounds like you’ve already begun to embrace that you can be even more fabulous than you were before 35—you’re looking fabulous!

  3. Sarah Jakes is currently my inspiration, and boy has she gone through a lot to be where she is right now. I love the fact that you mentioned Joyce Meyer because she’s awesome. I can’t wait to get back to listening to her podcast. I’m so in need of inspiration right now.

    • Thanks for the suggestion, Maggie—I’ll have to check out Ms. Jakes! And yes, get back into Joyce Meyer because she rocks.

  4. I turn 35 in September. Personally, I don’t consider 35 as “midlife,” unless you’re thinking “I’m 35 and my eggs are going, so I better have a biological baby.” Since my husband and I are going with the adoption route, I won’t even THINK about being “old” until I hit at least the big 4-0. If I’m still childless by then, I might start worrying about being seen as an “older mom.” I know plenty of women who are still unmarried and living the cool SATC-style single life at my age (34 and a bit) or older, with no prospects at all. I don’t think they even care anymore. Not that they’ve given up, but it’s a “when he/she comes, he/she comes” philosophy. That said, I feel like I’m making changes. I’m trying to look more “sophisticated” and am really tired of how some fashion bloggers are always trying to be OTT (over the top). Street fashion is NOT my thing. I’m no longer worrying that companies aren’t seeking me out to represent them. If they call, they call. If they don’t, they don’t. My site is evolving too. I’m going to make it more food/home-oriented, in addition to fashion. It will, of course, always have a city girl sort of focus, even if/when I add a family component!

    I think it’s great to be female in 2014. Sure, much more can be done, but the pressure to be married and have a family is just not as strong (unless you make it an issue).

    • Like my post, your comment suggests that there’s value in figuring out what’s important to you and then if needed, finding similarly-minded folks to connect with who are going through what you’re going through.

      The last part of your comment sounds nice in theory but for me, the reality is a bit different. I totally think we must learn to be content with our current situation but we’re human and sometimes we get impatient. I mean think of something that you want and feel you’ve been working toward for a few years. If you manage to always have that blasé attitude about it, without getting impatient or frustrated from time to time about how long it’s taking to manifest, then you should share your secrets! I think I’ll always be a work in progress in this regard, but I know I’m better than I was even last year so that’s good.

  5. Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to your question re inspiration. I would love to be inspired! :) I am 32 (33 in 2 months) and even though I have been in a relationship for 3.5 years I get that feeling of comparing myself to others, wondering when we will get married and start a family…it can sometimes cause friction…trying to balance having a happy relationship while expressing one’s dissatisfaction without appearing desperate or putting pressure, because romantic me wants it not to be just my idea…meanwhile my friends are on baby 2 and 3. You know i sort of find inspiration or a desire to make the best of my life from the sad stories I hear; a 40 yr old acquaintance of mine died from pancreatic cancer recently, and a friend just got married but her husband has leukemia that has just relapsed for the 3rd time so they can’t even think of having kids and are fighting for his life. It forces me to be grateful for my situation in life, because where there is life and health, there can be hope and try to trust that things happen at the right time, according to God’s will and mercy. P/S I loved your last post on love.

    • Happy almost-birthday, MPB! ;)

      “You know i sort of find inspiration or a desire to make the best of my life from the sad stories I hear…It forces me to be grateful for my situation in life, because where there is life and health, there can be hope and try to trust that things happen at the right time, according to God’s will and mercy”

      You said that so well! This is the exact attitude I want to radiate in my life, one of appreciation for the moment and trust that all things will work out, according to God’s will.

      Thanks for reading that last entry too. Writing feelings like that down really helps me get through them, and if someone can connect with it and get encouragement, even better!

  6. I smiled as I read your post. Then I wished I could give you a hug :) You are on the right track on being inspired! I can’t talk about my christian work and not mention Joyce Meyer. She motivates you and makes you enjoy life even if you did not plan to. I do not listen to her as much as I use to.. but her messages drive my everyday life.. and the book “The Power Thoughts”.

    I think just growing up and seeing how things have turned out for my friends and I has left me with a lot of questions that only God can answer. We all want jobs.. how come some get it and some don’t, We want husband’s how come some get it and some don’t, we want kids.. how come some get it and some don’t? After thinking about these things.. I just end with Proverbs 3:5 (msg) “Trust God from the bottom of your heart, don’t try to figure out everything on your own (like I have been trying to do)”

    So He is God and will bless us all! Thanks for the lovely post :)

    • Welcome, fellow Canada-dweller! :)

      I’m happy that you’re a Joyce Meyer fan too and since discovering her I’ve been listening to her podcasts over and over. On the days that I drive to work I feel like I’m part of the audience since I’m saying “Amen” out loud, and banging my hand on my steering wheel when she makes a point that I really agree with; lol.

      I’m glad you enjoyed Power Thoughts because it’s on my “to read” list.

      Oh Proverbs 3:5 is for me too! Thank you for sharing that and reminding me. I always try to “lean on my own understanding”…it never gets me anywhere—one day I’ll learn.

      Thanks for reading; hope to see you around more often!

  7. I promise you, I would have been first to comment if only I knew where the “comment” button was located on this post when I read it!
    Had so much to write at the time now it’s clearly flown off :(! *sigh*!
    Was about to read the latest post when I noticed 16COMMENTS on this particular post and I thought to come back and at least put something down to let you know I read it and I totally love it!lol

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