4 things I hate about relaxed hair

relaxed hair

It’s great to see proof that my hair grows but I wish undergrowth could accumulate under the scalp and just pop up when it’s time to apply fresh relaxer! My hair only maintains that “freshly relaxed” look for a week or two before it starts looking a bit unruly thanks to new growth and that’s really frustrating.

Hair that doesn’t move when I move
I severely dislike it when I bend my head forward and my relaxed hair stands at about a 45 degree angle from my neck; it just doesn’t look great. I don’t mind if hair that isn’t relaxed doesn’t move; I just expect that relaxed hair will move; after all that’s why I’m applying chemicals to it!

(Ok, fine, relaxed hair moves, but not to the degree I want it to, especially when I bend my head forward!)

Straw-like texture (though this is my fault)
A couple of years ago, I moved from washing my hair every other day, to washing every third day, and now to washing my hair once a week, and my hair is healthier for sure. After I wash my hair I use conditioner which I leave in my hair for five or ten minutes before rinsing out—clearly not enough time, especially because I also use a flat iron on my hair sometimes. For almost a year I was using a deep conditioning treatment which I would leave in my hair for an hour then have to go back into the shower to rinse off, but I got lazy. It’s time to return to that.

Thinning ends and general breakage
This is the saddest of all! I’ve seen forums of women with long relaxed hair so I know it’s attainable, so once again I’m to blame. My relaxed hair grows but when you balance that with breakage and split ends which make trims necessary, I don’t end up progressing in hair length at all! And why can’t I have hair that is as thick at the ends as it is on my scalp? There’s got to be a way to maintain that fullness through the length of the hair. Regular trims help to make the ends even, so I do that.

There are countless hair resources at my disposal so with a little research and some time investment, I’m sure I can love my relaxed hair again. But I have to admit, ending my dependency on the “creamy crack” is mighty tempting…

Your turn (but please, no bashing of people who have made a decision to wear their hair one way or another!):

  1. How do you wear your hair?
  2. What’s your best tip for relaxed hair?

16 thoughts on “4 things I hate about relaxed hair

  1. I think i had a longer list of things I hated about relaxed hair. I wear my hair natural now and i’m loving it. And guess what, even a fro moves! Shocking! Get you deep conditioning and protective styling right, and you could have soft, fluffy hair that makes you look as special as you feel.

    My relaxed hair was long(ish), but i think i went through three phases in 7 years when split ends frustrated me, were Serious trim after trim, i figured it was time to just go natural and quit adding chemicals. To be fair i got away with only relaxing twice a year. Unlike you, i loved my undergrowth, i loved the nappy, soft, cotton like feel of it – it’s no wonder i went natural.

    best tip for relaxed hair, steam and hot oil treatments, wrap your hair at bed time and cover with a silk scarf. Weaves have a personal vendetta against your hair, they deprive it of moisture. If you must have hair sewn in, try not to have it on too long, let your hair breath!

    • Thanks for stopping by, MsLuffa!

      You only had to relax your hair twice a year? And you could still comb it easily without too much breakage? Whhhhaaaaaaat?!

      I only hate undergrowth because it doesn’t allow my hair to lie flat. If I went natural I’d be ok with (and welcome) fresh growth!

      I hear you on weaves: I don’t do weaves—I’ve only had one in my life and it was enough for me!

      I’ll have to look up how steam treatments work but can you recommend a good deep conditioner?

    • I was stripping my hair of its natural oils—so bad! I’m reformed now ;)

      How do you wear your hair in its natural state?

  2. I am not a hair expert but I do love all things hair and roam the hair blogs and have tried all sorts of products. I think you already know the staples of hair like deep conditioning, sulfate free shampoos and then there are the TLC things to do like: hair steaming treatments, hot oil treatments and whatever new thing is out there, but from following your blog I gather that whatever awesome suggestion is made you don’t like the feeling of spending hours doing your hair. As such, you want something that can truly be a habit. So what relaxing activity do you do twice or once a month? e.g are you a movie person? When I don’t work on the weekends I am either studying or watching movies or my tv shows….that is when you should deep condition, cos it wont feel like a chore. Also try deep conditioning on dirty/dry hair before you even wash it, you will be surprised…maybe until it becomes routine for you or continue if you like it. Google that method, lots of people swear by it and i will be doing it this weekend. Lastly, minimize the flat iron….try curlier styles. I feel flexirods will work well on permed hair and are easy to use unlike magnetic rollers, perm rods or other curlers. You tube that. You can even flexirod your hair while it is dry…also saving you time spent on hair. Good luck! Now I wish someone had hair advice for me….

    • What a great comment, MPB; thank you!!

      You’re right: I’m guilty in that I just am not a high-maintenance person. I’m starting to wonder if it’s a genetic disorder that skipped a few generations since my entire family is unlike me. Clearly I’m adopted! ;)

      What I’ve always found annoying was taking a shower, applying my deep conditioner, leaving it on then having to get back in the shower to rinse it out. Deep conditioning on dirty/dry hair is genius! Call me dense but I never thought of doing that and if I did that then I could cut out that second shower.

      I’ll look for flexirods…thank you. I’m a big fan of curly hair…I’ve tried to get waves with a flatiron but I just don’t have enough hair to make it happen.

      I appreciate your comment…very helpful!

      Good luck with your hair…what are you rocking?

      • My hair is still natural…due to its kinky and somewhat fine nature, i feel like the ends always break despite regular trims etc so this year my goal has been to finger detangle as much as possible and rock protective styles that. For this week I will be attempting a style called the cinnabun :), here is a pic i saw online luckily she has a tutorial http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mby3hpzgqQ1qieyfc.jpg
        good luck with your hair and glad you found my comment useful.

  3. Undergrowth? Lol that’s the first time I am hearing that term I am assuming you mean new growth right? I love my relaxed hair and wouldn’t trade it for anything I was natural from birth until after high school and prefer my hair relaxed now

    • You got it: new growth, undergrowth, same thing lol!

      Dearest Pendo, if you are still loving your relaxed hair please share a tip or two! I’m going to hound you on twitter for some tips. :)

  4. I wear my hair natural. 90% of the time it’s in braids. I wash my hair every 10-14 days (I wait much longer w/ braids). Condition it before and after I shampoo and apply a leave -in-conditioner and oils.For any hair, whether relaxed or natural I believe its best to keep it moisturized and left alone (protective styles, braids….).

    • Thanks for your comment, Patience–moisturizing and protective styles make sense.

      How do you keep your braids from wreaking havoc on your hair generally but on your hairline most of all? I love braids but when I take out my braids and realize how much hair I’ve lost I always want to cry.

      I wish I could hold off on shampooing but I cannot keep my hair unwashed longer than 6-7 days—I start to feel like my scalp’s crawling with bugs. My mom and I are sure it’s psychological, but I can’t seem to shake it.

      • @GNG make sure they leave out your edges when you get braids done and don’t let them braid too tight. Always speak up if you feel the person braiding your hair has a heavy hand. You can always use gel or a holding pudding to lay down your edges. Also do not keep braids in longer thatn 8 weeks and make sure you shampoo them at least every two weeks and use a braid spray 3-4 times a week or as needed. You can make your own braid spray or buy one. Add a few drops of pure tea tree oil like five or so to your shampoo, conditioner or oil to help with the itching scalp. What is your current regimen and what products are you currently using? Products and how you use also play a huge role in the state of your hair see you on twitter:)

  5. My hair is texlaxed, or inbetween. I’m also lazy with my hair like you, and the new growth has been frustrating me for a couple of weeks now. I’m trying more deep conditioning, more moisturizing, and more protective styles as well as remembering to cover with the satin cap at night :)

    • Thanks for stopping by, Myne! I had to look up texlaxing; I hadn’t heard of it before. For the clueless (like me), it’s using a relaxer and leaving it on for less time than for fully relaxed hair, or in another example I came across, the person uses a relaxer but adds conditioner to it before applying to her hair. With texlaxing the goal is wavy hair, not bone straight hair.

      The tips you shared–deep conditioning, moisturizing, and protective styles–seem to be most popular tips out there…I guess the key is I must be less lazy! :)

      • You’re right, texlaxing is a new word. And my stylist mixed both definitions you got. She added conditioners to the relaxer and left it in for only 10mins. My hair is more curly than wavy, but the curls as not as tight as when I was unrelaxed. I’m advised to stretch the relaxing too, that means not doing it more than 3 times a year, as opposed to up to 6 or more times.

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