This week I’m thankful that a friend of mine (a blogger!) delivered a beautiful baby and both mother and baby are doing well (and father too!). This makes me think of the blogger moms-to-be that we know of (Oluwadee, who actually updated today) and the ones we don’t know of who have either just become pregnant or have been pregnant for a while and won’t share it with blogville until their little one has arrived safe and sound. I am thankful for them and wish them and their little ones good health as their pregnancies progress.
I’m also thankful for the expectant mothers who are not yet pregnant but are working on it, because I have learned a lot from them. The journey to having a child is not always so easy for everyone, and the process can really test your faith and your relationships. A couple of years ago I came across the blog of a woman who was trying to conceive. There was no medical reason why she and her husband couldn’t conceive; they just couldn’t. Through that blog I found two other blogs, and then another blogger that I knew from something else was also having trouble with pregnancies (she could conceive but would miscarry). A few years later and the first blogger has a son, the second blogger adopted a son, the third blogger had a daughter and is pregnant with her second child, and the fourth blogger had a daughter and a son! God has been really good to these women.
Some might be wondering why I, a woman who was in her late 20s at the time, who was single and had no reason to believe she would have trouble conceiving, was attracted to this particular type of blog. A reason these blogs touched me is because their journey to have something they thought would be a natural progression at this stage of their lives, something they sort of assumed they’d have at this point was something I could relate to: they were hoping for a baby, I was (am) hoping for a husband (eventually). When some of these women wrote about their friends who were also trying to conceive who managed to conceive, and those feelings of happiness for the friend yet sadness for themselves that they experienced, I could relate. As my close friends found great boyfriends, got engaged to them, bought houses with them, married them, got pregnant with them and had a baby with them, I rejoiced with them. I was truly happy that their dreams were coming true. But along with these feelings of happiness for them, came sadness for me. Being sad for me doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy for them; it’s possible for both feelings to exist. Anyway, that’s why those blogs really spoke to me, and I am thankful for the expectant women who have taught me to have faith, to stay positive, that it’s ok to be sad sometimes but it’s important to get up and keep going after a setback or disappointment. They have reminded me to cling to faith when things look bleak, and I believe that things will start moving in the direction I want soon.
I’m thankful for the results of some tests my mom underwent last week. She was concerned about their outcome, which in turn concerned me, but I am thankful to God that she is just fine! This woman has gone through too much to have to add new concerns to her life so I truly thank God for continuing to care for her and providing doctors that are doing their part to make sure that she’s as healthy as can be.
Lastly, I’m thankful for my 21 year old baby brother who is so exuberant about life. He throws himself so excitedly into every new thing that catches his fancy. I think it’s foolhardy 99% of the time but I secretly admire his impulsive nature that doesn’t waste decades agonizing over something before doing it; he just does it and deals with the consequences (if any). I was never like that at his age.
He actually reminded me of a bible passage this week, one that most of us know but either forget or fail to fully believe: Ask and it shall be given unto you. My brother was going to one of my favourite coffee shops and when he got there, he sent me a text message asking what was good there because he didn’t know what to order for himself. I suggested a particular drink, plus a gift card for me (shebi he asked, right?) and he came home with a gift card for me! When my sister found out she wanted to know where her own gift card was but she didn’t ask for one.
Asking doesn’t mean you’ll get, but your chances of getting what you want are significantly higher if you ask than if you keep quiet and hope that a fellow human being will guess what you want or need and get it for you.
This applies to relationships too: it’s almost stereotypical how often women complain that the men in their lives don’t know what they want, and if someone suggests that they tell him, some might be reluctant to because it takes the spontaneity or romance away. But you know what’s really unromantic? Spending hours or days fuming because you’re waiting for your man to guess what’s in your head when you could just tell him and be enjoying those flowers or chocolate or free time away from the kids.
(Don’t get me wrong: I will appreciate a man who will bring me little trinkets or flowers every now and then just because, without prompting, but that’s something I’ll make sure he knows I like. I won’t wait for years, suffering in silence, hoping he’ll guess; I’ll say something like “Just so you know, I’m the kind of girl who loves receiving flowers for no reason. I’m not saying go out and buy me flowers now, but if you’re ever wanting to make my day, that’s an easy way to do it.” I believe relationships of all kinds run a lot smoother when people know what is expected of them.)
The difference between asking God for things and asking people for things is that God already knows what we want. I sometimes have trouble with this because if God already knows what I want, why do I have to ask him? And what’s taking so long for me to get what I want? :) Sometimes I wonder if what I’m praying for is really lame compared to what I should be praying for, especially when a health scare in my family helps me reset my priorities. But the bible says to ask and it shall be given to me. If I want it and it is His will, I will get it. It’s not up to me to decide which of my desires is important enough to take to God; my job is to make sure He hears from me with regard to what’s important to me, so I intend to do that more often and I believe it will one day pay off.
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