I’m thankful for growth, and I was reminded of how much sense the term growing pains makes! Over the past month I’ve overpondered this idea of entrepreneurship, changing my vision for my life, and actually believing that I can do it, even if this “it” isn’t that well defined. It’s all very much a work in progress, one requiring daily commitment, and that’s the hardest part for me, being consistent. I’m excited by all the wonderful resources that are available online—for free!—to help anyone who is ready to get serious about accomplishing his or her goals. I feel like I’m moving forward and that I’ll look back on 2012 and recall it being the start of something really great.

I truly appreciate the little ways that God takes care of me. One example: just a few minutes ago I did my usual ritual of turning on the light to my doorway to see if I locked my front door. Locking my front door and checking to make sure it’s actually locked before bed are such ingrained habits that I do them on autopilot. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that for the first time in over two years, that door wasn’t locked! I am thankful that I noticed. On that same note, it’s so important to be aware: we sometimes do things on autopilot or are too busy multitasking to really take in all that we’re engaged in. Earlier this week I had to drive back home because I hadn’t paid attention to whether or not my front door was locked and when I returned home, the door was locked. However, I wasn’t paying attention again while re-locking the door so I ended up having to get out of the car just before leaving to check—very unusual for me. My situation is minor but think of what could have happened if I had left my door unlocked in those two occasions. Maybe all would have been well but unfortunately severe consequences have resulted from the actions of distracted people so please: be aware.

I’m thankful for supportive and appreciative friends. Aloted wrote a lovely tribute that left me feeling so loved. I was very touched—it was so unexpected—and I really appreciate her thinking so highly of me. I’ve been helping another friend set up her website (that sounds like I actually know what I’m doing—hah!)…it’s nice to know even my meagre and unprofessional efforts are able to benefit somebody, and these two women have been so supportive to me too. It’s interesting how something—a word we said or an action we decided to make—something that we may not think so highly of, can mean a lot to someone else.

I’m also thankful for the friends who call me out and challenge me. It’s never a comfortable exercise but I (eventually) take something good away from the hard (to hear) but true words that are said.

I am thankful for my parents’ health, something I will never take for granted. I am thankful for my own health too…every day that I can command my body to do what I want it to do—walk, run, jump, sit, eat—is a day to show appreciation to the One who made us. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see someone in a wheelchair without appreciating the blessings I take for granted.

I’m thankful for the power of forgiveness in my life. I had a revelation yesterday that I had been holding several grudges without really thinking about them. They weren’t things that were keeping me awake at night but I can see how with time they could become actual problems. I’m thankful that now that I’m aware of them I can let them go and do what’s necessary to resolve them.

I could keep going but it’s past 2:00am and sleep is winning me over with its charm. Please tune in on twitter to learn what other things I’m thankful for.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my goals for this blog, the Nigerian Blog Awards site, and All my single ladies, and comparing those goals to my progress in the past four, two-and a half, and almost-two years respectively to make those blogs what I wanted them to be. I’ve had moments of great inspiration for blog posts but overall, I feel like I’ve been coasting a bit, blogging what I want to blog at the moment without checking the idea for the blog post against the overall goal and flow of this blog in particular. The bigger problem is my goals for the blogs were vague and not written down anywhere. I don’t have anything to compare my progress to except a feeling that things aren’t always where I expected or wanted them to be in 2012.

It may seem like I’m making big a deal of nothing because this is “just a blog” and on top of that this blog belongs to me so I can do whatever I want with it. However, what has come through to me from all my reading is the importance of focusing my blogs. Just because I have 101 things that I’d like to talk about doesn’t mean I have do it all on one blog, or all at once. I want this blog to have better flow between entries, more consistency in when entries are posted. I want to make sure that visitors get what they expect from the blog, from me. There’s a lot to be said for having a plan for your blog and following it. With a plan I’ll be able to better measure whether my site is reaching its target audience and from there, I can figure out how to evaluate whether it’s bringing value to the awesome readers.

If you’re struggling with this idea of focusing your blog, the solution is simple: set goals, review them regularly, and work weekly (though daily would be better!) to achieve them. And, if you’re a procrastinator like me, you’ll have to hire a life coach to force you to do what you need to do (anyone know a life coach who works for free?).

Thanks to aloted, I came across a video by Tyler Perry called How to be Successful. In it, Mr. Perry says:

“Narrow your focus to one idea. One. And make it work. That will give birth to all of the others. All you can do is plant the seed and water it. God himself has to give the increase. Only God can make the sun shine. Only God can bring the rain. But if you planted the seed you’ve done your part.”

The part about focus really spoke to me because I’m notoriously all over the place and unfocused. In the end I don’t end up moving forward; I just sort of stay in the same place.

Speaking of focus, one thing that I really enjoy talking about is blogging. The last few entries I’ve drafted (but not posted) have been about blogging but I know for some readers it’s not their cup of tea.

Do you like reading about blogging?

I’m really excited about what 2012 has in store for all of us. The sermon at church last Sunday was the perfect start to the year, and it was called A Fresh Start. I was reminded that we should not dwell on the successes of 2011 because they’re in the past. So if 2011 was the most phenomenal year ever, thank God for it but look ahead to 2012! We’re also not supposed to dwell on the failures of 2011 either because that will hold us back from progressing in 2012. So for all those goals that I’ve had since the inception of this blog in 2008 (yikes!), that I haven’t yet acted upon or achieved, I can no longer beat myself up about them. Even when I see other bloggers doing big things that I want to do, I have to look forward to 2012 and to making those goals happen this year. I have a lot more to say about that!

For now, let me share some things that I am thankful for:

1. That my father is home, even though it’s because he’s on leave for a not-so-great reason. He’s doing everything he can to get well and I am trusting God that my Daddykins will be healed.
2. That my sister is enjoying her new job. It’s a short contract that should end next month, but we’re hopeful that she will be retained.
3. That Babatunde, my youngest brother, is flourishing in his career, even before finishing school. He just has to fight the distraction of not letting all the opportunities that await him once he’s graduated stop him from actually graduating!
4. That my other younger brother has been rather pleasant of late (we have a complicated relationship). Things took a slight turn for the better on January 1 so I think that’s a sign!
5. For the generosity of a great friend…thank you, Allison!
6. That a friend who was supposed to travel late last year had his travel plans delayed because he was able to be there when his friend fell deathly ill and needed to be taken to the hospital. My friend was living with his friend at the time too, which I think was also part of the plan to ensure that my friend could see this serious situation and act promptly.

   I’m also thankful that his friend is getting better every day.

7. For enough to meet more than my basic needs. I got myself a new laptop and some other things I wanted recently. It is a true blessing to be able to do these things for myself once in a while.
8. For an upcoming collaboration that I’m nervous but also excited about. EEEEEEEeeeeeeeek! I squeal (out loud) every time I think about it.

What are YOU thankful for?

(And yeah, I know that image is not much of one but at least it’s a picture right? I did say I wanted to post more pictures with my posts!)

I’m not the best at group work and depending on others because I like to set a standard and then do whatever is necessary to meet or surpass it, even if it means staying up all night to tweak the most minute details, even if it means coming to work late (after telling my employer I’ll be late of course, and arranging to make up the time). My family and friends tell me that when it comes to things like this I’m too picky and detail-oriented, so because of that I don’t bother trying to recruit helpers because I just don’t think anyone would be as into this as I am, and be willing to give up sleep for this. (The only exception is that I will cry out to BBB every now and then because she proved last year that she’s very good at getting things done!).

Perfection is impossible, and the glitches we’ve had so far (like the “little” matter of some people not receiving confirmation codes) has been extremely frustrating. Thankfully it seems to be behind us for the most part (at least until I check the email account for the blog awards again!). I’ll have to look into ways in which I can better utilize the resources out there to make things easier so that I’m not missing work or losing sleep over the awards. It’s only the second year that the awards have been under my coordination and I expect it will take a few more years until things are well organized and the awards practically run itself (a girl can dream!).

So please, if you have visited the site and you have constructive criticism to share about the process, feel free to share it here or you can wait until we ask for it on the awards site (which I usually do after the awards are over). Suggestions are carefully considered for incorporation into the next year’s awards process.

But enough about the awards: How are you doing?

What is a feed aggregator?
It’s a website that brings the text, images and pictures of various blogs to one place (there are more detailed and technical definitions out there, of course), but it leaves the design of the blog behind. I personally use Google Reader as my feed aggregator. If you have a google account for email for example, all you have to do is select Reader once you’ve logged in (the option should be at the top) and you’re set. I like that I can add blogs, group them into different categories and I can easily see the blogs that have been updated. If I want to leave a comment on a blog, it’s a quick click and I’m on the blogger’s actual website.

Not every blog can be read using a feed reader: the owner of the blog in many cases has to create a feed of their blog so that feed aggregators can find them. I think some blogging platforms automatically create feeds but some blogs require the user to create the feed.

Why would anyone read blogs through a feed aggregator?
It’s a central location for all your favourite blogs, which is nice. Rather than typing url after url into your browser to access your favourite blogs, you can go to one address, enter all the urls once, and have access to nearly all the blogs you read. The advantage is you can check to see if all the blogs you read have been updated by visiting one site rather than checking on your favourite blog day after day. It’s efficient.

Why read blogs through an aggregator rather than visiting the actual blog? Well first off, your well-designed website might catch the attention of people who I may not want to know that I’m reading blogs (I think you know what I mean). The feed aggregator site is very neutral and innocuous looking, which is a perk in certain situations.

And now we get to the reason I wrote this entry. If you decide to have a feed for your blog, please, please ensure that those reading your blog get the full entry and not just a snippet. I personally find it annoying when I see that a blog has been updated and I click on the link within Google Reader, only to get just a few lines of the entry. Depending on where I am, I will either go to the blogger’s website to read the rest of the entry or remove the blog from my feed aggregator. If I remove a blog from Google Reader, it doesn’t mean I won’t read your blog ever again, but I’ll have to count on being triggered to find your blog again through someone else’s blog or because you pop into my mind (and given how many blogs there are to keep track of, the latter isn’t always a guarantee).

There are a few reasons some people don’t provide their full entries in the form of a feed:

1. They feel the blog entry is too long
   The entry will be the same length in words whether I read it on the feed aggregator site or on your blog site so this rationale does not work for me.
2. They want you to visit their site because they want you to leave a comment
   If I read an entry on a blog and I’m not compelled to leave a comment, I don’t. If I read a blog entry using a feed aggregator and I’m stirred to comment, I will. There may be statistics out there that show if someone reads your entry on your website they’re more likely to comment, but I value quality over quantity in terms of comments so I’m just as satisfied if I feel my words have been heard. I don’t want someone to be leaving a comment because they find themselves on my site and they feel bad leaving without commenting.
3. They want you to visit their site because their blog is monetized
   Some blogs like this one have ads on them, and the blog owner is paid a certain rate based on how often a certain site or page is loaded onto someone’s browser. In some cases you only earn money if a visitor to your blog clicks on an ad. My goal with ads is to consistently earn enough to pay my monthly site hosting fees and I certainly wouldn’t mind earning more than that. In my view there is nothing wrong with monetizing your blog, but the content should always be the most important aspect of blogging. I would rather feel heard than have people visit my site and click on a few ads.

If you’re currently sharing only a sliver of your blog entries with those accessing your blog using a feed aggregator or reader, I urge you to reconsider. If there’s another reason you’re not sharing your entire feed, do let us know in the comments.

But then she decided to send me a scarf (you know she’s a crochet queen, don’t you?).

The package took its sweet time making the journey from the snowy depths of the UK to the even snowier depths of Canada but it arrived a couple of weeks ago and I love it:

Thank you, Omosi. I admire your skill with the crochet hook.

Rule #1 is to thank the people who gave you the award. Rule #2 is to share seven things with your readers. I hope these are new facts for you.

1. I can do a cartwheel, though the older I get the more it hurts to do it.
2. I’ve gotten three traffic tickets: one for making an illegal right turn, and two for parking in a non-parking zone. In only one of the three cases did I have no idea that I was doing something wrong. And in one of the three cases I may have cried in front of the guy writing the traffic ticket (though not on purpose).
3. I can’t enjoy dancing to a song unless I know the words. If I can’t sing along part of the joy is lost for me.
4. I will usually cry if I see someone tearing up or crying.
5. I smile at babies when I see them in public, and either mouth or say “hello”. The babies probably think I’m weird.
6. I can’t wink properly unless I have my mouth slightly open.
7. I have a bunch of binders that hold all my banking information, credit card bills, house-related bills and all other bills. I keep all my receipts and cross check them against my banking information and credit card statements. I find this all very therapeutic.

There are two other rules that I’m going to break: I won’t be tagging anyone and I won’t be telling them I’ve tagged them since, well, I haven’t. Forgiveness please (two points if you know what animated show that quote is from).

I invite you (yes you) to share one or two things that you would have shared had I tagged you.

How is 2011 treating you so far? We’re only 9 days into the year and I’m already feeling like the year is getting away from me! Well, no more! Like Miss LNQ just told me on twitter, I’ve got to organize and prioritize or the year will be gone before I know it (well, she didn’t say the last part).

So all of a sudden, Oprah’s launching of OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) has me excited, even though Canada won’t have full access to it until March 1 (I hope we won’t have to pay extra for it!). They are doing sneak-peeks of a couple of the shows so I was able to catch two of them and I don’t know, I got excited about Oprah again. I remember about 15 years ago, I would come home from school and watch her show; now I can count how many shows I’ve watched in the past 5 years on two hands.

My excitement led to me signing up on her website and I now want to be in her audience before she ends her final season of the Oprah Winfrey Show. Before you say it’s impossible, it works on a lottery system so there is a chance that I might be chosen. I also went looking for her interview with Barbara Walters (on youtube starting here) because a colleague had enjoyed it and my mom and I watched it together. That just got me even more inspired. She didn’t exactly have a charmed childhood but from a young age she believed she was destined for greatness. Look how far that belief has gotten her! Whether you like her or can’t stand her, the positive impact she’s had on so many lives cannot be denied. You’ve heard of the Oprah Effect, right?

I enjoyed the last part of the interview, where she says she tells the Lord all the time to just keep on using her until he uses her up, and she says there’s lots more to be done! I bet some people in her position would be tempted to rest on their laurels, assured of the difference they’ve made to the world and the lives of others but she wants to change more people, millions, and I am incredibly inspired by that vision. Some of the people whose lives she’s changed (Dr. Phil, Nate Berkus, Dr. Oz) all mentioned Oprah telling them that in order for them to be successful they have to be their authentic self and constantly ask themselves if what they are doing is true to who they are. Maybe it’s an intuitive lesson but in this world it can be tempted to go with the flow and not be yourself, so I appreciated the reminder to always be real because that’s what the world needs, not a cookie cutter of someone else.

I liked this quote of hers from the interview. Imagine if everyone set this goal for themselves: “I am seeking the fullest expression of myself as a human being, on earth.” (With God’s help of course!)

So in addition to being in the Oprah show audience, I’m looking forward to the following in 2011:

• A visit from my grandma and a friend in Nigeria (these aren’t planned per se but I’m hopeful!)
• Weight loss due to a lifestyle change that sticks
• Learning to crochet (Omosi has been inspiring me)
• The launch of an online business (inspired by Ankara and Lace, Inkspot Workshop and so many others)
• Being able to cook at least three Nigerian dishes I’ve never made before
• Visiting New York City (this is a big wish!)
• Buying a car

By the end of the year I plan to come back with most if not all of these things ticked off…I can’t wait to see what this year holds.

What are you looking forward to this year?

Someone asked to see pictures of my cards and here are a few:

Remember that super awesome printer I bought over a year ago? If I had figured out how to get it to print in the exact position I need it to print on, I could have really made my cards a lot better. Hopefully by next Christmas it’ll be sorted out. God forgive me for my lazy attitude regarding these things…I’m so sick of starting things and not finishing them.

It’s Thursday for another 15 minutesIt’s now Friday sha so let me share the things that I’m thankful for:

1. My warm coats, boots, gloves, mittens and hats in this freezing cold weather. It’s something I take for granted…until I hear an appeal on the radio asking people to please donate gently used winter wear or money so that these items can be purchased for those who need it. I remember in high school, it wasn’t cool to wear a thick winter coat so I didn’t wear one; at least that was my choice! It wasn’t because I didn’t have access to those items. I thank God for that, and that I have more than one of each to wear.
2. Our public transportation system, even though there are threats of another strike. I always think our transportation system is really bad…but then a friend (hi Renae!) in Paris mentioned how it took her about five hours to get home and I know many people struggle with Lagos traffic. So really, a one or one and a half hour trip to work on a very bad day isn’t something to curse the bus system over. And some sort of public transport is better than none I suppose.
3. Christmas spirit. I have so much of it this year and I’m so thankful for that. I really think setting up my little Christmas tree the last weekend of November has made all the difference. The minute I get home from work I plug in the tree and the twinkling lights make my evening a little bit happier, even if my plans are just to sit at my dining room table and crank out Christmas cards. The Christmas cards I’ve received are also part of the things that make it Christmassy around here.
   
4. People who do what they say. I mean well and try to do what I say I’ll do, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen despite my best intentions. Perhaps because of this I especially appreciate someone who says “I will call you at 3pm” and they do. I understand now why some people close to me are hesitant to make promises they aren’t sure they can’t keep because they’ve learned that it’s better to be seen as someone who seems somehow stingy with helping out, when really they’re just trying to avoid disappointing people. I’ll definitely think about that before making a commitment in the future.
5. The future. Sometimes I beg God for enough time on this earth because I feel so excited about the future and I dearly want to live a long healthy life, and wish the same for everyone. I know part of this feeling is the magic of a fresh new year and I know that by March or maybe September I may be feeling down and disappointed with how 2011 is going but I am thankful for the way that I feel now and for the gift of anticipation. May God preserve us all into the new year…and beyond!

So…the title of the post. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s noticed that when one of blogville’s longtime bloggers suddenly stops blogging as frequently, and they don’t announce they’re leaving blogville due to boredom with blogging, demands from other blogs or their personal lives or something else, it’s usually because something big‘s happening. Something like a wedding (Hi 30+!) or a baby (Hi aloted!). Of course this is only speculation on my part but if you have a favourite blogger who hasn’t been blogging as often as they used to, maybe, just maybe, they have a secret that they will be sharing with you soon. Before you send an email to your favourite blogger, asking when the baby’s due or asking when the wedding is, I’m begging you: unless you know them very well, let them keep their secret for a little longer (or at least ask them by email, Blackberry messenger or sms rather than in their blog comments!). When all is revealed, then you can say “I knew it!”

So, to get things hopping (and because I feel like living dangerously), does anyone suspect that any engagements or babies are on the way? If you know for sure and were sworn to secrecy, please don’t share; this is for friendly speculation only. I don’t expect any of the people mentioned below to come and confirm or deny the speculation…this is just for fun.