Sickle cell disease is serious and anyone wanting more information about this can consult:

• Sickle Cell Ontario
• Sickle Cell Disease Association of America, Inc.
• These Genes, Tosyn Bucknor’s project
• the wikipedia page on it

If you would like to donate to this cause, you can support Sickle Cell Ontario by donating here, or support the Sickle Cell Disease Association of America, Inc. here. Give what you can; even if it’s just your coffee money!

For those unfamiliar with how sickle cell disease transfer from parent to child works (and those in the know, especially the doctors among us, please correct me if I get any of this wrong), if you are AA, you do not have the sickle cell trait or disease; you are completely healthy (as regards sickle cell disease). If you are AS you have the trait, which means you are a carrier of sickle cell disease. You generally show no signs of the disease but may have or develop some conditions as a result (though generally not sickle cell disease). If you are SS you have sickle cell disease.

So, if you know you’re a carrier, to give yourself the lowest chance of having a child who is also a carrier or a child who has sickle cell disease, it’s ideal to match yourself with someone who is AA as that nearly guarantees you won’t have children who have sickle cell disease. If you and your spouse are AS, there’s about a 25% chance that your offspring could have sickle cell disease, a 25% chance that your child could be AA, and a 50% chance that your offspring could be a carrier like you.

As far as I can tell, these are only odds. It doesn’t mean that if two AS parents have four children, two of them will definitely be AS. You sometimes hear that despite the odds of having a child with a certain condition, some families have multiple children with the same “rare” or “uncommon” condition.

I think the older generation cares more about the answer to the question asked in the title of this entry. One example is the pastor of a friend of mine who told her to make sure she finds out the genotype of a guy she was getting to know before things get more serious. Among the younger set, some don’t know their genotype and aren’t in a rush to find out, and don’t care about the genotype their significant other. I currently don’t know my genotype, but I will be requesting that it be checked in the blood test following my annual physical exam next month, along with my blood type (which I’m embarrassed to confess I don’t know either). I know it won’t affect who I decide to be with, but my potential future partner may feel differently.

I have some questions for you:

1. Does the genotype of your (future) spouse matter to you?
2. Have you ever ended a relationship or decided not to enter into a relationship due to genotype?
3. Have your parents or others tried to influence a budding relationship due to “incompatible” genotypes?

Please vote on the poll on the right regarding whether or not you know your genotype!

I came across an initiative by blogger Estella that I’d like to share, the Sew for Haiti project. She is encouraging anyone who knows how to sew to commit to sewing something, anything that you think would be appreciated by someone in Haiti. It could be a pillow, a toy, or articles of clothing. The last time I checked her blog she was still trying to find the best way to get the items to Haiti but in the meantime if you are talented in that way, do whip something up. Estella has encouraged you to include an encouraging note or prayer with the item. If you can’t sew and live in the Metro DC area, Estella is offering to teach you how to sew for free, with the goal being that you will commit to sew something for this very worthy cause.

Like I said, my office is on the same floor as the Haitian embassy. I see people from the embassy daily, on the elevator or in the bathroom, and other than a hello, I can’t seem to figure out what to say that would be encouraging. Instead of feeling bad about that, I have resolved to pray more. I may not be able to do more than contribute financially to the relief efforts, but I can pray for the Haitians and express thanks to all of the people who have left their own busy lives to devote their time and expertise to helping out physically.

I don’t know if any of you have seen news reports that came out last week where people who have lost so much were praising God for sparing their lives and singing! It’s one thing to be saying “Thank you God for sparing me/my family” but actually singing? Wow! That was so touching. These are people who have lost anything from their homes, documents, precious things to their limbs in some cases or family members, yet they were able to raise their voices in song. It blew my mind, serving as another example of “in all things, give thanks”. Of course they are hurting, crushed, sad and feeling other emotions I can’t even guess, but that so soon after this huge life changing event they could raise their voices in song humbles me. I know I could not. I am not there yet.

Are you?

One of the first families we met when we first moved to Canada was an Igbo family whose eldest child is Ruthie. We lived in the same city and the older children got to grow up together for about five years before my family moved across the country. My siblings and I had not seen our “Uncle” and “Auntie” in the past 20 years, so when Ruthie told me last Friday that her parents would be in our city for the first time ever, we were all pretty excited, but unsure how we would be able to make it all work because they were only there for the weekend to attend a wedding and half of us were working on some or all days of the weekend. Despite that, it all worked out and we were able to have an incredible reunion. It’s amazing how little 20 years showed on them, though of course we were no longer the young children they last saw. It was just great to see them again. Uncle is a pastor and before they left he said a very powerful prayer that addressed so many important things in my family’s life. We were truly blessed by their visit.

Today also marks my two year anniversary blogging at this address. I am so thankful for the joy blogging here has brought to my life. Like I shared last week, I really feel blessed by this blog, preparing posts like this and engaging with you lovely people who inspire me all the time. Last year I held a giveaway to celebrate, but this year I’m keeping things lowkey. Those of you in the mood to celebrate though must visit Vera or London’s Naija Queen, who are both celebrating their birthdays today! Happy Birthday, ladies!

I want to call your attention to something that I found on Tori’s blog. Seun Adebiyi is a Nigerian in the US who is aspiring to be Nigeria’s first winter Olympian, by taking part in the 2014 Olympic Games. He was diagnosed with two rare and aggressive forms of cancer and he really needs a bone marrow transplant. Please visit this facebook page and his blog where you can find out more information about his journey. He also wrote this article on Huffington Post about his journey. I started reading his blog from the beginning but stopped because I became emotional just seeing how a regular blog about his olympic journey suddenly had to make mention of the possibility that he had cancer, then deal with the reality of having cancer. I will read it all though, because what I have read so far inspires me. Rather than crying and focusing on how I feel, I had to spread the news.

How you can help:

1. Donate. 100% of the money donated will be used to test donors.
2. Join the donor registry at DKMS America. We need more Africans and African Americans on the donor list so that Seun and others can more easily find a match. Nigerians in the US, you can help! Seun is trying to recruit 10,000 new donors (and not only Africans!). If you aren’t a match for Seun, you may be a match for someone else. Check the eligibility requirements, and if you qualify, please sign up!

Sometimes we choose not to act out of fear but getting informed is the best way to put any fears to rest. I was operating under some false ideas of what bone marrow donation entailed, and I encourage you to read this section of the DKMS website if you want to know what’s really involved.

I am not eligible to join this registry, but I have donated. Remember: every little bit does help.

And let us not forget HAITI. I cannot imagine what the people there are going through, and I feel very disconnected from it all — my brain understands what has happened but I seem unable to actually contemplate the wreckage, destruction and loss of life that I have read descriptions of in the paper. I work on the 15th floor of a building and we share that floor with the Haitian Embassy. I can only imagine how inundated they have been with calls.

Please, if you can contribute, there are many great charities that are contributing 100% of the money raised to the efforts, organizations like Yele.org, Red Cross, World Vision and Doctors Without Borders to name just a few. If you cannot donate, please check out The Pioneer Woman’s blog entry on Haiti and leave a comment. She will donate 10 cents for each comment received and so far she’s received over 20,000 comments. Let’s grow that number!

I was reminded by this to not to wait until I hear of situations like this before remembering to be thankful for my life or my health.

It’s easy to criticize the country (we’ve all done it) but how many of you ask what you can do for the country? I know I personally don’t ask myself that question; I often think “Well, I am one person, and one who isn’t as intimately familiar with some of the problems in the country like others are, so I’ll just cheer on those who are working hard to make a difference, who know exactly what’s wrong with the country and what needs fixing and how to fix it”, so I embrace campaigns like #lightupnigeria and hope that my meagre efforts help. Those are of course mere excuses because I could take the time to get informed, to find the information I need, decide what my contribution will be and do it. I’ve just been lazy!

Since it’s Nigeria’s birthday, I’d like to focus on the country and what we can do to help. One thing you can do is pick a cause close to your heart that affects Nigerians and give back somehow, either by physically helping the organization or through fundraising or donating of funds. Remember the Down Syndrome Association of Nigeria? Maybe you’re in a better position to help out this organization now. If so, don’t hesitate to do so.

If you don’t find anything out there that touches you intimately or inspires you, find it! When you find something that speaks to you, your commitment is stronger in my opinion. Onada started the Bright One Educational Support Fund, and I know there are others in blogville who are involved with charities. A charity doesn’t have to have a fancy website, brick and mortar headquarters or a lovely logo to be effective. Gbemi (I wish she’d update her blog!) held a clothing drive for children in Rwanda and Nigeria and clothing was shipped to those countries, and if you want you can start a drive for anything — school supplies, eyeglasses — and time it to coincide with your next trip to Nigeria. Choose a worthy organization, a family in need or a neighbourhood, and bless others as you have been blessed. I’m definitely going to do this the next time I go. And to all of you entrepreneurs, why not donate a portion of your sales/proceeds to a worthy organization? Share this information prominently with potential customers and you just might encourage more sales, making it a win-win situation.

This hasn’t been the best of weeks in my life and I really thought it would be a struggle to find something positive to share. But God wouldn’t let me keep earlier drafts of this post that poutingly said things like “this time I’m not going to force myself to share things that I’m thankful for”. Thinking of how you can help others can really lift your mood. It doesn’t mean that the troubles have disappeared, but thinking about something or someone else has given me a much needed break from not feeling my best. To keep the wave of positivity going, please share any organizations you know of that focus on making Nigeria better or helping Nigerians. Maybe you’ll share something that someone else might be interested in contributing to.

Don’t forget to check out Genevieve Magazine Online for those who can’t get their hands on a copy easily! You can subscribe to receive all the fresh issues as they come out, or register on the site and receive a few free issues. One thing I will say from experience is the owner of the company launching the magazine online is so nice and provides excellent customer service, so don’t hesitate to contact her if you have any questions.

To my dear single ladies who are waiting for me to act on that initiative I mentioned weeks ago: what I have so far is a tentative location and one entry. The idea behind the website/forum is one that is very close to my heart but I have been busy lately. I can barely keep track of responding to emails and comments personally (as I like to do and will likely have to stop doing), and it took me over a week to clear my Google Reader so I have no blogs waiting to be read, so it may take me longer than planned to set up a regular posting schedule and the forum component but I haven’t forgotten! I encourage you to please submit any comments and questions you may have on that blog.

And finally, on the story of B, the girl whose ex boyfriend tried to kill her and left with some brain damage and unable to support her family. I am waiting for an update on the matter and will provide one as soon as I have it.

The picture to the left is that of B, a 26 year old graduate of Computer Science from the University of Ilorin, a former staff of Virgin Nigeria (she has on her uniform as a ticketing officer in the picture). She remained a staff of Nigeria until 2007 that evil struck and her life changed and definitely for the worse.

B graduated with good grades, went for NYSC and got a good job at Virgin Nigeria. She was posted to the ticketing unit at the Calabar Office.

G and B met in school (Unilorin) and they started to date. G was a student in the Mathematics Department in the same University with B but for one reason or the other, he eventually got thrown out of school.

Sometime in 2007, G got wind of the fact that B had left him for another guy. He asked her to marry him but she turned him down. G then travelled to her house, smashed a stabilizer on her head, she fainted and he did not stop at that. Just to make sure she was dead, he took a knife and stabbed her several times in the head. He left with her phone and locked her inside her house. Coincidentally, B’s sister who lives outside the country called her phone which he kept cutting and later switched off. That was strange to B’s sister, so she called her brother to send a number of one of B’s colleagues at Virgin Nigeria and she got them to go to her house, they broke the door and she was on the floor, in a pool of her own blood. She was rushed to the hospital, they battled to save her life and miraculously she was revived. Virgin Nigeria took care of her medical bills as she went through several surgeries at different hospitals.

When I first received this email, B had experienced partial memory loss, and because of this could no longer work with Virgin Nigeria. She has since recovered from the memory loss, but sadly appears to have suffered brain damage, and will likely not be able to work again as a result.

She is back at her parents’ home, and her widowed mother is taking care of her (her father passed away a few years back). Perhaps the saddest part of it is B was doing so well, supporting her mom and siblings, but now she must be supported by her unemployed and widowed mother.

Her sister abroad sent money to have the culprit arrested and prosecuted, but B’s mother begged them to leave the judgement to God. However, G remains a threat to the society. Though he thinks B is dead, when he finds out that she is still alive, he may go after her so that she can never testify against him. He knows her parents’ house; he can still strike. This guy remains a threat to many others including B’s family and friends.

Unfortunately, since the family has dropped the case, even if one of you were willing to take on the case, it might prove difficult to get the family’s cooperation. I’m sure you can understand B’s mother’s fear of pursuing the issue (she probably just wants to be able to care for her daughter in peace, without fear of him coming back). Still, I wanted to put this out there with some questions:

1. Human rights violations like this take place everywhere in the world, sadly. What can we do to ensure that justice is served wherever we live (generally speaking)?
2. What would you do in this situation, if this was a friend or family member of yours? Would you pursue justice through the legal system (even against the wishes of some of the family members)?
3. Do you think there are measures we can take to minimize the chances of this happening to ourselves or to others (God forbid)?

And it is this goal of raising awareness that brings me here to ask you, my dear readers and bloggers, to help this organization out in any way you can. Of course financial donations are always welcome, especially at this time, and I am going to quote from a recent email I received from the organization which explains why:

LIFE SAVING HEART SURGERY FOR 3 DS BABIES

And we wish to make an urgent appeal for help, on behalf of the underlisted babies who have been diagnosed with serious heart defect:

Ajoke Taofeek (F) – 9 months
Felicia Oyinloye (F) – 12 month
Etim Gabriel (M) – 18 months.

According to the Consultant Radiologist, if surgery is not carried out immediately, the babies will not have long to live. As at a few days ago, there were four babies awaiting immediate surgery, but at the time of this appeal, one of the babies has passed on.

In view of the urgent need for an immediate corrective surgery so as to save the lives of the remaining three babies, the association is making urgent arrangements towards this, but are not financially in a position to bear the total cost hence the appeal for partnership/support in this life-saving venture. It is estimated that the total amount required for the corrective surgery on the three babies in India is approx =N=10.5m. These donations will be used for the sole purpose and benefit of the children
Any donations, no matter how little, will be highly appreciated. Please note that all cheques should be made payable to: DOWN SYNDROME ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA or paypal payment to info@dsanigeria.org.

If you feel led to help out financially, please do. I know you won’t regret it.

For those of you in Nigeria who would like to donate money in person, or volunteer your time, please call or visit the DSAN headquarters. They are located in Lagos, and can be reached by phone at +234 (1) 2704710, +234 (1) 8119718 or +234 (0)8032285545.

If you can’t help financially at this time, you are not off the hook! Here is some more information about donating your time and/or talents:

Volunteering connects you to our community of families, saves your organization money, helps you build a network of parents to share information, and helps increase public awareness. DSA Nigeria exists to help support your family’s needs, please help us continue the support.

Like talking to people? You’d probably be great at helping with our community efforts or staffing fund raising events that save us thousands of money.

Love parties? We’d love your help at one of our fundraisers. Or host a parent support group.

Got a special skill? We can always use writers, carpenters, marketers, etc.

Are you the quiet type? C’mon down and give us a hand in the office. Assist with mailings, answering phones, data entry, or preparing resource materials.

Have lots of friends? Help us organize a fundraiser. Start a support group. Head a team at the Buddy Walk Volunteering is a geat way to develop skills, fill in time, meet new people and make a contribution. It also looks great on a CV and makes you and the children feel good! For more info, please contact info@dsa-nigeria.org

Lastly, I consider myself to be a fairly politically correct person, but the section on political correctness when speaking of DS was a section that I found eye opening. Read it!

Please do what you can to help, or pass this post or the link to the website, to anyone you think can help. It would be greatly appreciated by the DSAN.