You may be aware of people who marry citizens of the country they desire to gain citizenship to under false pretenses then divorce when they have what they want. In some cases the fraudster is already engaged or married to someone else, a fact they keep hidden from the person they are marrying, which just leads to more heartache in the end. Though the documentary focused on the couples being from different cultures, there were also examples of people of the same culture, one a Canadian citizen, the other not, where the Canadian had been defrauded.

(There is another group that makes a business transaction to exchange citizenship for money and that’s not what I’m talking about, though I suspect most governments don’t want to know that’s taking place.)

In Canada, once you marry someone you can file the application to bring them to the country as a permanent resident. The only thing a permanent resident can’t do is vote (as far as I know…). As the sponsor, you are obligated to support your spouse for the first three years he or she is in Canada. This doesn’t mean they can’t get a job (they can apply for the majority of jobs except those reserved for citizens) but this three-year rule is in place to encourage the Canadian citizen to “shine their eyes well” as Nigerians say: if your spouse decides not to work and to instead depend on the government for financial support, they can. The government will pay them what they qualify for…and send the bill directly to you. So if you get involved with a fraudster it could cost you more than the emotional pain of a terminated relationship: it could hit you hard in the pocketbook.

You can divorce your fraudster spouse but you’re still financially responsible for them as long as they’re in the country if they decide to collect welfare. You could try to get them deported but a lawyer in the documentary said it’s pretty much impossible to do that unless the person does something that Canada determines to be requiring deportation (lying to you or collecting government assistance won’t do it). As a result, these defrauded folks feel betrayed by their country too.

Those who have been defrauded have suggested that the Canadian government revisit its policy of giving permanent residency to spouses so that if things don’t work out, it will be easier to remove the fraudster from Canada and also eliminate the situation where the pseudo-spouse can collect government benefits at the expense of the Canadian. Instead they think a two or three year temporary resident visa would suffice, in effect putting the spouse on probation. Following this time, the person could apply for permanent residency, perhaps through an expedited process, as a reward for “good behaviour.”

I like this idea personally. I know it’s annoying to have a temporary status in a country and to be limited in what you can or can’t do as a result. It’s got to be annoying too to have to always make sure your documents are up to date but those who come to study manage to do it. If students decide to remain in the country after their studies, I hope they go through the proper channels to make that a reality. Some employers might be wary of hiring someone with a temporary status in the country but hopefully those would be rare cases. It’s a shame that we always have to make rules more stringent rules to accommodate the minority that is prone to exploiting situations but that’s just the way it is.

What are your thoughts? Do you know of other countries where the temporary resident thing is in place?

1. immerse yourself completely in your new surroundings and culture, and adopt it as your new way of life
2. immerse yourself in your new culture but cling to those aspects of your own culture that you don’t want to lose
3. refuse to integrate with your culture and cling to the culture you were born into

I personally think it’s best to go with option 2, and I’d even support option 2 with a leaning toward option 1, but we’ve all met people who are devout option 1 folk (speaking with the accent of their new home within weeks of landing there and denying their true origins) or option 3 (regularly trash talking or criticizing the new home, whether it’s temporary or permanent, and refusing to interact with anyone who isn’t from their home country or area).

I live in Canada and while the country is not perfect, it is in my opinion fairly accepting of immigrants (though like many countries the immigration process is getting more rigorous) and maybe my experience is not the norm. Yes you will get people who say “pardon?” every time you speak because your accent differs from their own, and you can tell they’re not even trying to understand what you’re saying. But to be fair, not all of them are trying to be rude: they are just learning your accent and once they know how you pronounce certain words they won’t misunderstand you again. I sound fairly “Canadian” and I find that when I’m speaking with some Nigerians (on the phone especially), I sometimes ask them to repeat themselves and they sometimes ask me to do the same. Funke can confirm that we “Canadians” kind of slur our words, so the city I live in, Ottawa, ends up sounding like “Odawa” when I say it, and Toronto, another city sounds more like “Teronno”.

But the reason I like Canada is that it allows immigrants to have the best of both worlds. My parents feel completely comfortable wearing their ankara and lace to oyinbo weddings or to our (primarily oyinbo) church. They and their Yoruba friends were able to start a Yoruba association and meet in a community centre where they are free to discuss things in Yoruba, if they want to set up a festival or event to celebrate their culture it is welcome and could even be supported in part at least by the city or province. Some smart entrepreneurs are selling Nigerian food here and we’ve never been told that we can’t eat pounded yam or ogbono soup or anything else we enjoy. Because of this, I feel that as an expression of appreciation fo the country you have chosen to immigrate to, you should respect at least some of the things that make your new home unique (which is why option 3 above rankles me).

For example, my parents took us skating, and even though I am terrible at it, I have been exposed to it. I’ve also had several opportunities to go skiing, play in the snow, go camping, eat Canadian classics like beavertails (not what you think) and poutine to name a few. While my mom can’t skate she is the biggest ice hockey fan, and to hear her screaming at the television on game night, you’d think her own children were playing. It’s amazing how well she knows the names of the players and their stats. My dad is a much quieter fan but he’s the same. I remember a few years ago the local hockey team went quite far in the play offs and come see Yorubas at the end of year party listening to the game on the radio and sharing the score with one another.

Another thing I really appreciate about life here is the freedom to practice our religion. Canada is/was a Christian nation so maybe because I’m also Christian, that’s why I feel there’s religious freedom. But I can go to a Redeemed Church if I wish, and I can even plant a new church if I’m so inclined. The city will rent out rooms to me to hold my religious services; I don’t have to lie and say it’s something other than a religious organization to get the space. And although there can be tension between different religious groups, I haven’t heard of Canada targeting a certain religion unless it’s known for encouraging violence toward another group.

Every now and then, a crazy story makes the news. For example, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) is an old and established institution here. There was a story about a guy of a certain religion who wanted to be an RCMP officer. No problem. But rather than carry the official weapon that RCMP officers carry, he wanted to carry the ceremonial dagger of his religion instead and I think he was suing the RCMP over the matter. It angered me because the RCMP is a uniquely Canadian institution: if you are not prepared to follow the rules, there are hundreds of other jobs that you can take. I didn’t agree with those saying the guy’s rights were being somehow denied because he can carry his dagger practically anywhere else and I think he could even carry it in addition to the official weapon of the RCMP. I worry sometimes that in some ways Canada is being too tolerant and could lose its own identity by being too accepting: if you leave your country for better opportunities and you’re able to find yourself in a country that doesn’t care what you wear, what religion you practice and what you eat, where you feel relatively safe and can keep yourself fed and sheltered, the country should be allowed to hold on to certain things that it feels defines it as a country.

But don’t let me get too impassioned. My point is that if you’re in a different country for school or to live, take the time to immerse yourself in your new surrounding and meet people from a different background or walk of life than you. Don’t pretend the whole country sucks and has nothing to offer because if you really believed that you’d head back home. Enjoy connecting with people from your homeland too; that’s a part of you and hopefully you don’t feel like you have to run away from it. But please don’t go to either of the extremes…we should be proud of our origins and seek to be good ambassadors of our country. Some bloggers who I think are embracing these principles especially well are Olaoluwatomi and KTravula.

Have you assimilated into your new country, segregated yourself or are you somewhere in the middle?

Today I wanted to follow up on the entry I wrote about immigrating to Canada. A dear friend’s brothers in Nigeria want her to send them a letter, inviting them to visit her. Her brothers don’t just want to visit: they want to find a way to work while on a visitor’s visa, earn some money and then return to Nigeria. The laws of Canada say you cannot work on a visitor’s visa and my friend is one of those rule following types (she probably hasn’t ever downloaded music illegally either!). As a result, she told her siblings that she cannot in good conscience agree to the visit. Besides telling them that it’s illegal to work on a visitor’s visa, she tried to get them to see that their actions if they were to get caught could reflect on her good name. If the authorities were to ask her if she knew that her siblings’ intentions were to do more than just visit, she would have to say YES she knew. I would have made the same decision she did.

Unfortunately a no, even with the most rational of explanations, even one that offers another way of getting the same end, is not often accepted easily. The alternative that my friend has given is that the brothers work on raising the money to attend a one or two year college or post graduate diploma in Canada, apply to a school in Canada, preferably one in my friend’s city, get admission, then use the information sent to them by the educational institution to get a student visa. If the school is in the same city as my friend, then her siblings could live (rent free) with her while studying. They would also be able to work (on campus at least) to earn extra money which they can use to save for the next semester of school or save for their future goal of relocating to Nigeria with money.

The problem with this plan for her brothers (and for my family members in the past) is that it’s a long and slow process. They would rather buy a plane ticket and come here without a plan, and find a way around the system rather than sit down and write it out on paper, see if it’s feasible, then act.

When I think of my own parents’ journey, it wasn’t the fastest one. Due to the fact that we lived in the one province that has different immigration rules from the others for one year, we had to restart the process. In the end it took an unusually long time for my parents, sister and I to get our papers sorted out and obtain citizenship — just over 10 years! This is definitely above the average. I had nothing to do with the process but I know there were frustrations on my parents’ part to make sure the statuses of all family members (except my brothers who were born in Canada) were up to date and visas renewed when they had to be. Of course, those times are not too deep in my parents’ memories but I think their relatives forget the amount of time that the process actually required. But knowing what we know now, we know that any family or friend who is prepared to come to Canada legally would be able to get citizenship in a much shorter time period.

What continually upsets me is the fact that despite all that has been said, family members continue to think there’s an easy way to get here that we refuse to share with them, that we’re being unnecessarily “stuffy” with our insistence on keeping things legal. Why wouldn’t we want our loved ones close to us? What do we have to gain by keeping this “secret” from them?

To anyone dealing with the situation my friend is in regarding communicating the reality of immigration and making money in Canada to family members, I’d say it’s important to stress that the process can be long but when all is said and done (legally) it will be worth it in the long-run. If you play your cards right you will be able to move freely between both countries and either settle permanently abroad, or take your education and skills back home and use them to better your life and hopefully the lives of others. If you’ve waited this long already, what is another few years? (Note: I’m not saying that “a few years” is nothing, but let’s think big picture.) Instead of calling family members with the latest thing you heard from someone who has never left Nigeria’s shores about how things work abroad (of course that person heard it from someone else who has probably never left the country), use the time (yes, the years!) to work with what you have at your disposal to be the best you can be.

And please, don’t misinterpret me:
I know that life in Nigeria is hard for many. I know some are desperate to leave the country, to go somewhere their skills and talents can be recognized and used to their full potential. I know some people have given Nigeria a very good try, have tried to build businesses and start new things that have failed due to countless factors beyond the control of the individual. I really get that!

I also know that I am blessed that I came here as a child, in the pocket of my parents, so to speak. I have not been where my relatives or my friend’s siblings are. If the roles were reversed I may very well be the one sitting in Nigeria thinking that my relatives aren’t doing enough for me, or don’t want to see me thrive. I recognize that I haven’t “been in the shoes” (literally) of those who don’t mind doing things illegally to get where they want to be. I’ve never had that desperation. But, I actually firmly believe that there are very few situations where the only alternative is to do something illegal. Oftentimes it’s impatience that leads people to do things the wrong way.

Finally, I know people who want to leave Nigeria but who are willing to make lemonade with the lemons they currently have, sell the lemonade for a few years and save some of the profits for the future plans to immigrate. Some find that their lemonade leads to a business or idea that allows them to support themselves quite well in Nigeria, and abandon plans of trying to go abroad. My cousin is an accountant and her husband works in a bank. Things haven’t been good for them financially, but they are surviving. However, for at least five years, my cousin has been buying and selling on a small scale, finding a way to supplement their income with this (in fact this is more profitable than her job at the moment). She recently got in contact with a friend in the UK and the two of them are partners in that he provides her with merchandise that she sells, and she’s doing very well with that. She’s making really good lemonade from what I can see!

This is longer than I wanted it to be, and if you read it to the end, I appreciate it. This idea of immigration and helping people to come here the right way is one that I am passionate about. I intend to find a way to do more for the cause in the future.

Well, I mean I can’t wait to meet her!

We’ve known each other for over six years but we met online. Almost immediately she referred to me as “sis” and I always felt like her big sister. In fact I think there was a time when my sister was a bit annoyed that I had met someone who lived so far away who called me sis. Camryn is Filipino and although she moved around a bit, she stayed pretty far away from me, spending time in Dubai and Singapore. We have exchanged a few cards and letters over the years, and in recent years apart from a marathon chat session on yahoo once or twice a year, we don’t keep in contact very regularly. However wee managed to maintain some closeness (I guess we set a good foundation in earlier years).

I remember when she was finishing her studies (in architecture) and writing exams. I remember before her wedding we talked about how cool it would be if I could attend but we never discussed it past that. I remember receiving the link to view her wedding pictures online. She was an absolutely gorgeous bride. She has a relative in the US and I remember her mentioning a couple of times that we should try to meet up one of these days if she ever visits her aunt.

Then a few years ago she mentioned that she and her husband were trying to immigrate to Canada. I didn’t know if it was a plan or if they had taken formal action but here we are, nearly three years later. They were able to both come here under the Federal Skilled Worker program and I’m so happy for them that everything came into place at long last. The process wasn’t quick and there were undoubtedly some frustrations and expense (including time) involved, but they made it and will be permanent residents of Canada once they arrive; no need to worry about renewing visas. I’m so happy for them!

Of course I have to use them as an example for anyone who’s trying to move to a country where they think they might have better opportunities to realize their dreams. Know what you’re getting into and get yourself accurate information, from the appropriate sources. Several my family members have asked us for information and advice, received it, then thrown it in the trash while clinging to the “easier to hear” “advice” offered by one neighbour or friend who has never gone through the process or situation he or she is advising on. And of course in nearly all of the cases the result has been money and time wasted. One of our cousins did follow the advice with favourable results, but unfortunately he passed away and was not ever able to come to Canada (RIP Joseph).

The Canadian government website for immigration is here. If you are a student or want to study in Canada, if you are a professional and want to work here, or if you have a family member already in Canada and you want to know if they can sponsor you, you can find information that addresses your situation there. I focused on Canada but most countries have a similar websites that can give anyone willing to do the research the information they need.

There are some who have to stop thinking that there’s an easy way around the rules and regulations that govern the country they are considering moving to. These rules and sense of order may be the things they eventually appreciate about the country, even though they are annoying at first. Yes, the process can be long and frustrating, but if you read up on things, find trustworthy people who are living where you want to be who can give you a true picture of what things are like, and if you ensure you can cover the associated costs, the result will be something lovely like it was for Camryn and her husband.

If you live abroad, and you have family in your home country, you have probably faced this idea of helping your family “back home”. I know, I’m so funny, calling it an idea, as if it’s a philosophy one can choose to adopt or not. I guess there is some choice, but from the perspective of most of our loved ones back home, it’s less of a choice and more of an expectation. Not all relatives are greedy, but there are some who definitely fit the label. This expectation is based on the belief that life where you are is better than life where they are (Nigeria, for example), so it is your job to help them attain a level where they too can be comfortable, or in some cases, more than just comfortable.

This concept of helping family back home can be explored from so many different sides, and I can’t fully address it in one entry, so this will likely be one of a few, spread out over the next while. I had a lively discussion with my brother on the idea of providing financial aid to family members last night, and that is what I’ll focus on right now.

If you went abroad as a student, you probably had or have some family members who expected hoped that you would be able to send them something back regularly when you can. If you came here at a young age or were born abroad, then it was likely your parents that got the brunt of these expectations and requests. I fall into this latter category.

Like most, my parents are not the sort to make a big deal of supporting family members. When their counterparts were putting money aside for their annual vacations, my parents would be thinking about how best to maximize the money they were earning, so they could both support their expanding family and the families they were born into. They had to decide who to send to and when, and how much could be spared. I feel confident saying that those of you who have personally dealt with this approached the situation similarly: the money you sent home was never EXTRA (which implies that your wallets were just too full of money to contain it all), instead, you deprived yourself of things your counterparts enjoyed freely, be it buying your lunch, getting someone to do your hair, watching movies at the theatre (if you’re a student), or buying a brand new car when your 13 year old rusted one dies, renting a home for a few more years instead of saving a chunk of money to put toward a down payment on a house, or maybe shopping at secondhand stores (if you are an adult). Maybe you did all of the above at different times, but you did what you felt you had to do, this was/is life. You ensured your needs were met and probably treated yourself too, but tried to live relatively modestly so you could help family.

Now that I’m older, I am starting to see the full extent of what my parents do, and how little I do in comparison, but I am learning. It is my intention to do so much more than I currently do. Both of my younger brothers were born in Canada, and both are in school, which they are paying for primarily through loans. The elder of the two will tell you that he considers himself more Canadian than Nigerian and that as far as he is concerned, my parents’ obligations are to the family they created who live with them in Canada, and they should not be sending any money anywhere. Our debate or discussion yesterday hinged around this idea of giving even when it wasn’t comfortable for you. Mind you, he has no money to give anybody; he’s in debt himself, but it was the way he said that it’s only when he’s debt free and basically has a good job, a home and a car that he would think about seeing what he could do to help others. I know deep down he probably doesn’t mean it because he’s quite sensitive when he sees someone less fortunate than he is, but the way he said it, so uncaringly, angered me.

My argument was that if he doesn’t have a heart for generosity now, earning a six figure income will not bring that out. I bet many millionaires have not changed when it comes to that basic desire to help others, simply because they are earning more money (but maybe I’m wrong). I suspect that while some do share the wealth, others just graduate to a lifestyle that matches the extra money in the bank. There’s just something about saying you can’t help anyone out until you’re loaded that bothers me. I’m not saying give all that you have away then suffer, but we all know whether putting aside $200 every year to send home is possible or not (nevermind that it might not be considered a large enough sum by some recipients).

But not everyone that receives money back home is actually suffering are they? That’s a topic for another entry! Let’s just say that the more I learn about how things work in my family, the angrier I become when I hear that some don’t think my parents have done enough. I don’t know why I bother getting angry since it’s not like we have to prove anything to anyone. We are all accountable to a Higher Power.

Something tells me that at least some of you can relate, or share stories on the topic.

A friend of mine has a plan to be able to support her parents in a few years’ time and I had already been thinking of how I can accomplish the same thing myself. I just need an idea and a willingness to work toward it.