Unexpected: how it started

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I may not be the girl I used to be in matters of the heart but the optimism I felt at the end of that blog post remains today, though it has been a journey.

Single and happy

Last November when I shared what had changed between the 31-year-old me who thought marriage was imminent and the current version of me, I was several months into getting to know a young man who we can call Sayo because that’s his name. I deliberately didn’t talk mention him on my blog because Continue reading

Not the girl I used to be in matters of the heart

Six years ago, I thought I’d met the guy I was going to marry: he was in Nigeria while I was in Canada but with God on our side and what I thought was a clever plan to bring us together again, I was sure it would work. I was 31 and ready for marriage, I thought. I started a new blog that was specific to that blossoming relationship; the blog was password-protected and I gave my closest friends access to it. But things didn’t go the way I hoped, and the meat of those two-and-a-bit years is captured in my Love and Learn series. Six years later, my non-Nigerian friends still remember his name; I guess they heard it a lot! Continue reading

5 things I’ll do to increase my chances of finding love in 2016

If you, like me, have #2016lovegoals, we need a plan to make this year different from the previous ones. I’m not saying this because my dad reminded me of it last weekend—though sometimes I think he can read my mind—I had drafted this post two months ago. Here are five things that I’ve started—or will start—doing to increase my chances of finding love in 2016. I’m even setting reminders on my phone to make sure I do them!

Regularly and sincerely pray for a spouse (in progress)

Over five years ago I shared that I felt odd praying for a spouse, even though it’s what my dad did and it worked for him. In that post I used the word resentful and it’s true: Continue reading

Thoughts on the K-1 or fiancé(e) visa

thoughts-on-the-fiancee-visa

Do you watch 90 Day Fiance? This show is in its third season and I think I’ve watched every episode. I enjoy the show so much that I go to my parents’ house to watch it every Sunday (because I no longer have that channel)—my mom, sister, and I have fun providing a running commentary on what happens during each episode.

Each season, the show follows five or six couples (one half of each couple is a US citizen, the other is not) who obtain a K-1 visa. The K-1 visa (aka the “fiancé(e) visa”) allows a US citizen to bring a non-US citizen to the States, but they have to marry within 90 days of the non-US citizen’s entry into the US. If they don’t get married then Continue reading

Four situations single people should avoid

I was recently convicted of the necessity of being careful when it comes to forming emotional relationships with members of the opposite sex. Like you (I will presume), I deeply respect people’s relationships and do not deliberately try to drive a wedge between a couple, but sometimes those of us with the best of intentions can inadvertently cause problems. I haven’t wrecked any homes (thank God!) and to make sure that never happens, I watch my interactions and check my intentions to avoid inappropriate emotional connections with men.

So, what am I really talking about? Continue reading