When I left for Nigeria in October 2010, colleagues were trying to get me excited about the men that would fall at my feet. I had been in Nigeria only two years before and did not recall such an experience. In fact, the guy I fancied instead chose my sister! Needless to say my hopes were not high so I was pleasantly surprised by the male attention I received while I was there. For those whom rejecting male attention could be a full-time job, you can stop reading now because this will not sound like much.
First there was the guy who my great-aunt had set me up with the year before, long distance, the e-lationship that for intents and purposes had fizzled months before I headed to Nigeria. After a short face to face meeting and a more leisurely date, he showed me that he was in fact interested and I decided I was still interested too.
Then there was the friend of my cousin’s, who I had started talking to on facebook a couple of months before the Nigeria trip. I was not at all in the mood for a relationship, and definitely not a long distance one, because I was still disappointed by the one that had (even though I was responsible for the fizzling, at least in part). This new guy was nice enough but I kept things platonic. He wanted to send me a gift but I declined. He wanted to exchange phone numbers and I did not immediately oblige. He found out I was in Nigeria from a facebook update. He was hurt (and sulky…I can’t say I was surprised) but he snapped out of it, thankfully. While we were in Nigeria, he came to visit twice and called twice a day for the over three weeks we were there. His calls were so regular that we knew who was calling before answering the phone. Because he was pretty clear about his interest, I told him after our first meeting (and many phone conversations) that my feelings toward him were those of friendship only. When we met again in person I explained the events of the past year and why I wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. We parted as friends and keep in contact today, though at first he was trying to change my mind. I included the word “friend” in our conversations so much that he told me that he got the message.
The last guy was the fella I mentioned in a previous post; the guy my great-aunt told to excuse my weight. He also came to see me at my grandma’s place twice and there was nothing in his interactions with me to make me think he was interested in me so I just went with the flow. Since I’ve been back we’ve been keeping in touch via facebook and fallen into a teasing/friendly relationship. There have been hints of interest but I’m keeping it platonic: his work seems to be his girlfriend and I think he’s used to females chasing him. I also suspect he’s a former or reformed Lagos boy (which makes him laugh because honestly, what do I know of Lagos boys?).
The attention was nice, and meeting guys who saw me in the flesh and liked what they saw (a constant fear of mine) put me at ease and helped with my confidence, even though I know that true confidence doesn’t need much outward reinforcement. Regardless I think this experience will help me in the future in my journey to being a confident Naija chick.