A friend of mine commented on my entry about “bad” and good Nigerian girls and she asked a good question: what am I basing my judgment on?
First off, I am using the idea of what makes someone “good” or “bad” somewhat tongue-in-cheek. How convenient that I seem to have the qualities of the good Nigerian girl while qualities that I don’t have get put in the “bad” category!
What I know of the “bad” Nigerian women is exactly what I’ve said. I only see them at social events and what I see is the dressing that seems to lowcut (tops or dresses) and highcut (skirts or dresses) to me, and they generally have on far too much makeup. I hear the loud voices and have made the assumption that the reason for it is the desire to attract attention. I myself am loud when I’m with friends, and perhaps I only notice these loud girls because I don’t usually have a bunch of friends at these events to be loud with.
I don’t really talk to these girls, so I don’t know anything about who they are as people. Perhaps they are quieter when they are not at a party, maybe they don’t view their clothing the same way I view it and they think the way I dress is ultra conservative and boring.
I could learn a number of things from the “bad” girls too: how to be confident, how to have a sense of adventure and relax, and how (to appear) not to care what others think of your actions. In the right doses, these are all great things to learn.
When I said that I tend to gravitate toward quieter women who are smart and elegant, the implication is not that “bad” girls aren’t smart, just that when I see them at a party, their intelligence is not the first thing that comes to mindâ€”I’m usually focused on how they manage to keep their top up without it falling off, or wondering how they can avoid flashing their butts in something so short. I am basing my judgment on their appearance alone, and not on the whole package, something a good girl wouldn’t do.