Confession

This is no biggie but I’ve been talking on msn to this guy. Like I said, I deleted him on msn but I didn’t block him so that if he wanted to message me, he still could. The first few times we talked after his confession, I was a bit cold but then I thought “Hey, he’s a guy within my desired age range and he’s funny. As long as I don’t fall for him there’s no harm talking to him right?”

(You better be nodding and saying “Right!” right about now.)

Anyways, I added him back on msn and it’s been fun. The guy has a dorky sense of humour and I like it. He makes fun of me and I make fun of him. He’s currently in the US so I have been asking him how his baby mama is, and whether he left Canada because he got deported. He calls me grandma because I’m so old apparently. It’s all in good fun sha. Another thing is that other than that lie I never got a bad vibe about him and even afterwards I didn’t (unlike this guy who was setting off all the alarm bells) so I don’t worry talking to him (let’s hope those aren’t famous last words).

When we’re talking on msn, he sends me links to songs on Youtube, a lot of D’banj (which makes me think of sting) and when he’s not doing that, he’s telling me how I’m the woman for him, while I do my part to dissuade him, and tell him he’s not rich enough for me. I ask him to tell me what certain Yoruba phrases mean and he does, and there was this one song I was dying for; could not find it anywhere, and didn’t know the name of the artist or title, only part of the chorus and he was kind enough to give me the name of the artist, search youtube for it (it wasn’t there) and then find it on Dudu Radio and send me the link.

It’s refreshing to talk to a guy who, even though he’s full of it, is actually in my age range (assuming he didn’t lie) and he’s just normal (well except for that lying by omission thing). He’s a nice antidote to the scores of old men on the dating sites who send me e-roses. I guess what we’ve been doing is sort of flirting but it’s definitely of the “this ain’t going anywhere” kind. And I’m actually fine about that.

Though sometimes it’s like I look forward to seeing him online or something. We cannot have that.

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29 thoughts on “Confession

  1. what was the problem with this guy again??? Because me thinks you like! huh? GNG?

  2. …the journey (which may have some rough paths) of a thousand miles sure starts with the first step. Sail on well…….. oops, and very gently.

  3. yeah whats the problem again? u say he is full of it but how? you say you two joke together alot, get along and he tells u that u r the woman for him but u don't see it going anywhere? I'm scratching my head here. Give the man a chance Jare!

  4. just don't turn a blind eye to his VERY IMPORTANT defect. Won't it be great if everyone's immigration information was considered public records. lol

    Just left a message for Jummy. Hopefully she's get back with me today.

  5. Helllllllllllooooooooooooooooo………………… GNG?! Wetin dey do u? I don't see anything wrong with the guy oh.

  6. WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How come no one told me about this!? GNG ah, u are fallin in love and u are being brave about it? And to think that u ve been chatting with the bloke behind our backs; I thot we was family. Okay, we forgive u as long as u promise to keep us constantly updated.

    nuff said

  7. Wait a minute guys: this guy, despite the fact that we can joke around and stuff, isn't the guy for me. How dare you guys wish me such a fellow.

    Shey only notperfectdotcom has my back? Haba…

  8. Sweetie, ok i have to disagree with u on the label potential 419er type here. The only problem i see is that his working illegally…ok rather, his done something illegal…working with another's papers…but all of those are conditional matters o…it's not necessarily 419, it's a survival tactic in a foreign land… albeit wrong sha! Imagine the others who have married for papers, and things like that…they are not necessarily bad people, they just kinda needed to stay in the country. I like the fact that he was honest about mentioning it to you-in other words i feel like he thought there could be something good btw the both of you…Now if that's the only problem with him, sensing that you actually like the guy, i would hope you would be able to look beyond that…Access it properly and make sure there are no potential disasters on the way, u know, no "yawa" with the law and all and then "carry go!" Allow yourself to like him and get to know him better!

    Jeez…oya clap for me…i feel like i've said something "serious"…lol…my goodwill for the month (ya, i said month, everyday is not christmas!)

  9. hmm, u have found urself an emotional sponge. the dude u go to to get the releief u want but wont get none of u. u will soon, if not already, discuss ur man issues with him and he is always there to console u and tell u they dont value u. i bet u havent told him about the lie he told and how it affects u, but till the day u drop him on the road side, have fun dumping it all on him.

    its just typical in this thing we call love.

  10. Ok, think our comments came in bout the same time…now that's the other thing…if u feel like his really not for you and u're just enjoying the immediate attention, then still "carry go!" we're allowed! we all need some sweet sometings and some flirting every now and then….lol…ok, u can tell i'm jobless abi, it's friday…i'm signing in, wait for me…

  11. @ random dude – you could not be more wrong if you tried: this bobo and I are friends, the kind that yab each other. If I told him I was feeling fat or I didn't think some guy liked me, his first response would be "well you are fat!" or "well, why would someone like you, you grandma!", all in jest of course.

  12. @Afrobabe. u really dont want me all up in your business; na we all do you?
    @Schic. Haba are you blogging thru GNG? U no get ur own again? U ve like a zillion comments on this matter.
    @GNG. My dear, I ve to agree with Schic (okay, in one of her comments up there- dnt ask me which one- the longest one). I know you are principled and all that but not everyone had the priviledge of Citizen by birth or parents that saw ahead. The fact that he is working illegaly dont make him a bad person girl- do u know the survival issues in Naija?. Atleast he was upfront about it, means he aint so cool about his status too. Do u remember my 'high-horse' comment a while back? Girl you are saddled! 'Such a fellow'?' now thats harsh. And although i do not agree with randomdude at all (the guy no know you sef), I am sure like he said, you have not told 'your friend' about this 'big white elephant in the center of the room' when you guys talk.

    nuff said

  13. 1. I am not a Canadian citizen by birth. It took over 10 years from when we arrived in Canada to when we got our citizenship. I therefore have no sympathy for anyone who either doesn't want to wait (most people can get full citizenship within 5 years now) and who goes about expediting the process by resorting to illegal means.

    2. I never said the guy was a bad person, only that I can't trust him fully because who knows what else he will see fit to lie about? If the guy was a truly bad guy, I wouldn't say things like "Another thing is that other than that lie I never got a bad vibe about him and even afterwards I didn’t (unlike this guy who was setting off all the alarm bells) so I don’t worry talking to him (let’s hope those aren’t famous last words)" about him, nor would I have been talking to him at all.

    3. He was not "upfront" about it, unless you call him telling me after I asked him more than once upfront. He did not volunteer the information, I "got it out of him". Yes, he didn't lie about it, but that was after I asked him. That's an important distinction to me.

    4. If my demands (that my potential boyfriend be generally law abiding) means I'm on a high horse then you're right.

    5. I'm disappointed that you think I wouldn't tell the guy the reason for my hesitancy about him. Believe me, he is well aware (read here for clarification) and the jokes I make about it too drive the message home.

    nuff said

  14. okay, points taken. But please do not sign out with 'nuff said' i am about to get a copyright on that signature…lol.
    Now madam, i hope i didnt tick u off too much. But let me respond to your comments.
    1. I never said u were a citizen by birth, I really did not know your status until you graciously provided information. So you condemn his survival strategies; you advocate that he starves, lives off welfare (he cant even get that) or return to his country? Or better still stop trying to land a chic while he is still an 'illegal immigrant?'.

    2. Okay he is not a bad person, but he is not 'good enough for you', because he lied and oh of course he is condescending to doing something illegal to get by- he said he should 'wait' five years? You forget that at that time you got back to Canada you were much younger and your parents were your support system. What were your parents status then?

    3. A guy who is willing to come clean with you obviously thought there could be something between you in the future or figured that you would understand. Believe me, i am a guy, if he wanted to keep lying to you, you could be dating for a year and you may never know! You got it out of him' hmmmpf… honey, No woman can ever make a guy volunteer information he is not willing to; especially when it is detrimental to being with you.)

    4. Sweetheart your statement 'I therefore have no sympathy for anyone…' Haba! you need to pay a visit to the other side; you are so out of touch with certain realities- i am sure at least 75% of your friends are white. Leave your posh neighborhood and ask questions how your Naija brothers support large families back home, families who are starving and do not have an idea what 'work permit' is.

    5. I am really sorry about disappointing you, it slipped my mind for a second that you are honest, upfront and frank….hmmmmpf. well, he is well aware why you refer to him as 'such a fellow' and he still values your friendship. This bloke must really like you, i hope you know what you are doing, because you are staring a good man in the face!

    I still think you are a wonderful woman though.

    nuff said (the original)

  15. lollllllll….sorry dear… i'm still laughing bout your sign-out "nuff said" lollllllll… i thought i was the only one that wondered why Stbloke always ended with nuff said regardless of what he was saying abi it's writing…good one though…

  16. @ naijabloke – I was going to reply to each of your points yet again but I think I know what will happen: you will take my words and give them your own meaning (you know, as opposed to taking them at face value) so I will simply let you have the last word. And perhaps one day you will find out how wrong your impressions of me are.

    @ schic
    – Iol it's like he's saying "I have spoken so this is the last word on the matter" with his "nuff said"s. It's not a good one jare, please don't encourage the guy!

  17. GNG, u are saying more of the same really. Yes u are able to tell him "u are fat" and ofcoure he comes back in good jest telling u so. Hmm, more of the same.
    Will u tell every guy u know that? will u tell a guy u really like that you are fat? He is there a symbol of guys you "feel comfortable around" the guy who "gets you". we have been through this before. please doont get me wrong i am not saying u are a bad person, but then u wouldnt care.
    See there are those who call themselves nice guys. The only differenc eis they are nice when they choose to, around girls they fancy, find attractive. what them around girls they feel nutin for. this is just the reverse. i bet if he turns things up he will soon be one of those" you almost dated" and just watch out u dont grow on him.

  18. @ random dude – To answer your question, yes, I do tell guys I'm talking to online who I'm interested in that I'm fat. Friends tell me all the time that this is not a good tactic but I can't help it. I'm so afraid that someone might see my picture (despite posting very accurate pics) on a dating site and still think that I'm not as fat as I am so I always make sure to tell them. Repeatedly. I don't want to fall for someone only to have them meet me in person and decide I'm not physically what they were looking for, so I put it out there to avoid that.

    You've completely mis-characterized me when it comes to this guy, and I'm starting to wonder if you're not projecting your own issues with women (past and/or present) onto my situation. I am fully me, I'm not using him for anything. Sometimes two people can be friends and exchange teasing comments and it can just be that.

    I think it will relieve your mind to discover that from what I can tell in the past week or so, this guy has moved on so now you won't have to worry that I'm leading him on. He won't be "turning things up" and we won't be dating.

  19. random dude…pls don't tell me it's who i think it is…then again, the writing style does not fit…Anyway, u "guys" need to cut my friend gng some slacks here…and yes, i also think you've mis-characterized her and misunderstood the situation. Can't you all see the bright side of all these? Sweetie, where is the guy? he moved on? lol…what a woose! Anyway, it was fun while it lasted rite? catch up with u later…

  20. schic, emm, not the person u think i am. flattered though.
    And now you call the dude a woose? what should he do if the object of his affection, is not seeing him as the object of her affection. if he satys around now u will be suspicious of him (in somce cases u should)

    GNG, if u say i am mischaracteriazing u – since u know urself better than i do – thats noit the intention. i am going from ur logic here. and why is every woman's defence a "projecting your own issues with women (past and/or present)". u would be surprised what u notice when u just look at your sorroundings. Its like a girl calling all guys dogs, wouldnt that be from her issues with men but besides i do recognise whateber number of women i have met/involved with it doesnt speak for all of them. And I am too very much wise enough to know sometimes it works, other times it dont. and then u have to cut ur loses rather than stay around and mop.

  21. But really though this is more to just see reactions and expressions of thoughts.

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