Dear future husband

I remember the title of this entry being a “trending topic” on twitter sometime. I’ve always been practical about love, so I never had things like “hottie” or “super rich” on my list of things I wanted in a man. My list had things most practical women want in a man: family-oriented, sense of humour, ambitious (but not too much so), employed, educated, taller than I am (um, that is practical, right?), Christian…but I’ve never thought of writing a letter to my future husband, touching on those other qualities I want, or on how I see our ordinary days unfolding.

I’d like to write this letter now and I challenge you to do so as well if you’d like. You can write to your future wife if you prefer. The deadline is two weeks from now, on November 4. Who’s in?

9 thoughts on “Dear future husband

  1. Interesting idea. It might help you get a clear idea of what you’re looking for in a husband, and guide others who might considering matching you with someone.

    I’d suggest that you don’t devote too much space to the “most practical things” like the ones you mention. We all want someone who’s family-oriented, ambitious, educated, honest, kind, etc., etc. And “hottie” is just code for an appropriate amount of physical attraction, and “super rich” tends to just mean that a guy’s employed and can realistically consider supporting a family, if you want one. (I rarely see gals who want to marry significantly above their own social class.)

    Anyway, these are all things that everyone wants, and everyone knows you want. When it comes to searching for someone you can really connect with, and that others might actually be able to help you find, you have to concentrate on the specifics.

    Are you attracted to foreign guys’ accents, or are you afraid of only being a green card ticket? Are you fine with 1 inch taller than you, or do you prefer a basketball player? Do you like a man in uniform, or do you want someone who’s strictly 8 to 5? Hunting? NASCAR? Green Party? Knowing these are the things are what will really make a match worthwhile.

    • Hi Jenny! Thanks for stopping by and for your comment.

      Thanks for the caution about focusing on the practical elements..as I worked on the letter I realized that it’s those less obvious things that I want to write about, things that will affect how we get along, personality types that I feel will mesh well with mine or challenge me in a positive way. You give great food for thought!

  2. Sorry, but it had been awhile since I’d visited your blog. You’re in Nigeria, and my comment sort of assumed that you were here in the US. But I trust you understood me anyway. Sorry about that.

  3. This is an interesting idea to ponder on…I’ve never really thought of writing such things down because nothing is set in stones and our desires change over time. “like going from a feminist not minding the concept of a housewife” kind of change…lol. Really great points @ Jenny.

    Maybe I will write one just to see how realistic or not it sounds. Sometimes we get carried away in what our vision is that we forget about how someone else fits their own dreams into that same space.

    loving the posts @ GNG

  4. I think it’s a great idea to write a letter because when you write stuff, it helps you think more clearly. On the other hand, don’t limit yourself to what you write. He might be a great guy but not have all the qualities you’d like to see. Wink!

  5. Mmmmh I think i’ll write something up. But i’ve got to warn you, it won’t be that much different from the next girls’. I’m coming in late though

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