Online dating is pretty dry of late: I am getting contacted by men who are old and occasionally, men who are married. I’m flattered but really, no thanks. I decided to do some investigative reporting for GNG blog and ask one of my e-suitors what on earth he’s thinking being on a dating site when he’s married with children.
To give you some background about OG (Old Guy): he’s 51, married, has children, is Muslim and lives in Nigeria. I am seeking a guy in his late 20s/early 30s, who is UNmarried, with NO children, Christian and based in North America. Almost a perfect match, right?
Without further ado, please enjoy our conversation. I actually found the guy well spoken (well written?) so maybe there’s some truth to his reason for going on dating sites after all…
OG Says: hellooooo
goodnaijagirl Says: Thank you for your interest but you are too old for me. I wish you the best in your search for love.
[That is my automated reply that I send to guys who don’t fit my ‘criteria’ lol]
OG Says: tanx dear i wish u the best in whatever u lay ur hands on
goodnaijagirl Says: thanks! you too
OG Says: byeeee and take very good care of urself. i like ur ki[n]d of person and sensibility
[Since he didn’t just close his window I had to ask him what he’s doing on the dating site]
goodnaijagirl Says: you’re already married though! why are you on a dating site?
OG Says: my dear, people do so many things for so many reasons
goodnaijagirl Says: your poor wife (or should I say wives)
OG Says: why wives? i got only 1. u may [be] very very wrong with the type of impression u have in mind already
goodnaijagirl Says: you’re married, on a dating site. can you see why i would have an impression of you that is less than positive?
[Who’s with me on this?]
OG Says: well dating does not necessarily mean doing some certain unholy things
[Ok: “unholy things” made me laugh…inwardly]
goodnaijagirl Says: WHY WOULD DATE WHEN YOU HAVE A WIFE??? I don’t care if you only do “holy” things. Why are you trying to meet women when you have a wife. Please explain!
[Do I sound irritated? Frustrated? I’m not such a good investigative reporter]
OG Says: not necessarily for what i’ll get but to share experience
goodnaijagirl Says: you still haven’t really answered me
OG Says: i’ve made some nice friendship from both male and female
goodnaijagirl Says: ok o! so you are not on the dating site with the intention of meeting a woman. Why not join a forum instead? You realize that being on a dating site might send the wrong impression to people who see you on here, right?
OG Says: well u’re the very first girl to tell me this
goodnaijagirl Says: really? so most girls you talk to think it’s perfectly fine to talk to a married man on a DATING site? I don’t get it!
[Is he serious? So I’m the odd female in the bunch…this is not a new role for me sha]
OG Says: yes i’ve had nice relationship with a lot girls and matured minds
[He better not be dissing my mind! Oh, maybe he’s saying it’s youthful, like my appearance on a good day?]
goodnaijagirl Says: what sort of relationship are you talking about?
OG Says: platonic and advisory sort of stuff
goodnaijagirl Says: Have any of your relationships become inappropriate? Why are you paying to meet women on a dating site to give them advice and form friendships? Why not join online forums or meet them in person? Does your wife know about any of this?
OG Says: never. yes she knows
goodnaijagirl Says: Ok, well thanks for the enlightening conversation. I can’t say that I would want my own husband to be on a dating site but if your wife is aware of it and doesn’t find it odd, then that’s between you and her. Again, good luck in the future and thanks for answering my questions.
OG Says: tanx to u too. it’s a nice thing chatting with u
goodnaijagirl Says: Good bye!
So, there you have it: this is what happens when I join a dating site and have no one to talk to: I spend 40 minutes talking to ineligibles.
Anyways, so now if you see a married man on a dating site you don’t have to judge him, thinking he’s on there to meet women (especially as a paying member): he could just be trying to make friends and give advice.
(I wonder if he spends as much time advising his kids!)