Hoping for success with a new site

Ok, so less than two weeks later and I reactivated my meetnigerians.com account so I could show a friend some pictures of some guy (I forget why I wanted to show her the pics sha). I decided to leave my profile activated for the weekend and so far I have been disappointed. Big surprise! My opening line for my profile is Are you under 35 years of age? but I guess all the men age 40 and above see that as the red flag being waved to them since those are the only fellows who are feeling me.

I’ve deactivated the account again.

While trying to find new dating sites to join, I typed blacksingles.com into my browser. Before joining I did a preliminary search and who should show up but this guy that I never dated as the number one search result! Too funny. You’d think that would make me turn away from the dating site but nope, I joined.

They say it’ll take a few days for my uploaded pictures to show up, and for my written information to show up too. I love the written section: that’s where I tell them I’m not a slender woman but they should still give me a chance, where I beg and plead and even offer to be their sugar momma if only they’ll Please Please date me.

(I’m kidding! I don’t tell them all that until we have our first phone chat! And besides, I’m saving for a house so I can’t be no sugar momma right now!)

Anyways, I’ll keep you posted as usual.

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I finished the book over there on the sidebar, Finesse Mitchell‘s book Your Girlfriends Only Know So Much. It was an ok read. The purpose was to give you a black man’s insight into…black men. It was funny (the guy is a comedian who was on Saturday Night Live) and I learned a few things from the book. A lot of it was common sense (as most of these dating help books are), but sometimes you just need to hear it again before it sinks in. If your local library has the book, pick it up. It’s less than 200 pages and even if the dating advice isn’t helpful, I guarantee you will laugh.

Some things I liked about the book:
The fun quiz to do to determine whether you’re ready to date
For those people who want a new man without doing a postmortem on their past relationships, this quiz tries to be an eye opener.

It reinforced the need for women to have a list and know what they want
Of course, it’s important to keep the list short and limit it to your non-negotiable qualities, rather than specifying every last detail about your dream man (after all, the man on your list is a dream man so he doesn’t actually exist!). A lot of books tell you to toss out your list, or be open to anyone and everything but he says it’s fine to have your list, just don’t live and die by it. I liked that.

Relationship advice from men
The last chapter of the book shared stories from men who had been married anywhere from a year to 30 years and each man said how they proposed (in most cases) and then gave advice on how to make a relationship work. A lot of the same things, like being a confident woman, or not putting up with a man’s shi!t came up. I’m a sucker for “how we met” stories so I ate them up!

Tell me, what book have you read lately or heard of that I should get my hands on?

13 thoughts on “Hoping for success with a new site

  1. girllllll!!!!! this chic has not read a book in a while…lol…ok, well, maybe nothing that would benefit you, infact even me sef that i'm reading in…picking up back on my harlequine present books…anyway, what's up? hope you're good?

  2. I went out to Dinner with one of my blog friends who happened to go to the same church as me, and she got me this inspirational book, I'm going to blog about it later this week.

  3. I just read the kite runner and i loved it. I've read over a thousand books in my life (not an exaggeration) so it's hard for a book to really impress me, but this one did. Mostly because it was so unpredictable. It's by Khaled Hosseini. He also wrote "A thousand spendid suns". I haven't read it yet, but the reviews are great.

    How's it going?

  4. u should pick up Tess Gerritsen's Gravity. Finished it under 12 hours. no joke.

    do those dating site work? i think word of mouth, friend introduce friend, or openly going at a guy is better off

  5. yeah, i kinda like how we met stories too – my friends think its sissy to be a romantic- i cant care less. They dont push it anyways 'cos they always need me for relationship advice- I am better at gettin into a woman's mind; my sistas thought me at an early age- i ve eight of them; what am i blabbin on ur comments for? abeg.
    I dnt knw for sure, but i think if i were a chic I'd find a good bloke without much effort. I ve a formular I would gladly pass on to u… hmm I should hurry up with that conference for MSS (mature single sistas) in the States. for now stay tuned to my blog

    nuff said

  6. why not leave dating sites of it the hunt gal? i mean are they always real? it seems to me that it never works , i mean alot of them think on eis desperate when online u know?
    why not try socializin for real, if u ve married frds get them to introduce u to their men's single guy frds,
    is they are truly ur frds they shuld be able to do little dinner things ones in a while just for u guys to meet, they go out on ur own sometimes keepin a low profile gal,
    u need to know this is naija where mentality differs from westerns, b4 a guy will look at u in ur big hummer car and all big gal rigalia take much time compared to when u keep a low profile at least until u get to meet someone and u guys begin talk ,
    think about it and again try going to weddins, taking active part where u did be noticed and all that, just keep a low profile

  7. Umm, I tend to disagree with the whole don't go online thing. Most people are online anyway why not develop friendships while you're there. I know couples that met online and they were not desperate. They posted their profiles online because it was just another channel or avenue for them to meet new people. Most likely, your friends would have introduced you by now if they had a good candidate in mind. It is a good idea to go out and socialize but stay online for the fun of it.

  8. it sounds very scary even tho i have an asian colleague who met his wife thru an online dating site.

    currently reading Native Son.

  9. Dating is hard when you make a point of going somewhere to date…90% of the guys on dating sites want to shag…the remaining 10% who are serious about looking for a serious relationship look like shit!!

    My mama suggested church and going out with friends who are in relationships cos her guy wants her for himself and gets his friend to entertain you.

  10. Hi, 1st time commenter here though i've been reading for abit. I disagree with anyone who thinks online dating is desperate. I think one should and can find love anywhere really, i agree with Gbemi…we spend so much time online anyway, so why should we totally write off this method of meeting people. To me its better than meeting with people in clubs/pubs..but thats just my personal opinion. Weirdos are everywhere, not just online

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