I’m single, I live in the same city as my parents and so I live at home. I’m nearly 29.
Does this make me weird?
Some of my oyinbo friends think so, because the one thing they were looking forward to once they left school and joined the working force was moving into an apartment and exerting their independence. The thought of living with a bunch of slobs (I hear they’re called “roommates”) who could potentially steal your food, go through your personal things and turn the other roomies against you sounds like a stupid idea to me, yet many of my friends rushed out of their parents’ houses to do just this. They moved from a house with a decent sized room for them into a place with a room half the size and this is considered a step up in life.
No thanks, not for me.
Granted, perhaps I am unusually close to my family, but I never thought I’d be moving out of the house before I moved into a home with my husband. Of course I also thought this “husband material” man would have showed up 5-7 years ago so one thing we know is that I am not good at predicting things. As the years went on and my single status persisted, I decided that I would like to live on my own for a while before moving to married life, but instead of renting my plan would be to buy a little place. Because I had lived at home, I had had the opportunity to pay off my student loans and then move to saving for a downpayment. Dealing with the questions of “Where are you going?” and “When will you be back?” and ” was worth it after all…I think.
My plan is to be living outside of my parents’ home by my 30th birthday, which means I better start house hunting soon
I’ve talked to my parents about this and they are prepared for it (probably excited actually, hoping that I will encourage my three younger siblings to think similarly) but I wonder if they really are happy about the situation. I don’t want them to feel like I’m leaving because of them, but at the same time I am: I need to live my own life, and deal with adult things like mortgages and property tax, without having them around to take care of everything (or like typical Naija parents give their opinion on everything!). I’ll probably only be 15-20 minutes away by car but it’ll feel strange not to live with them after living with my parents for three decades.
To those who have ever been in this situation, I’d love to know your answers to these questions:
- If you lived in the same city as your parents and went to school in that same city, would you have continued to live at home?
- Do you feel the pressure to move from the family home by a certain age (for me that age is 30)?
- Did your parents ever make you feel like when you reached a certain age, they’d expect you to pack your bags and go live your own life?