The Parakeet posted a couple of weeks about how she used to make decisions based on whoever her future husband would be, and how she will no longer do that: from now on, her decisions will be made based on herself alone.
I’m a fairly selfish person, but I prefer my decisions have my parents’ approval. This doesn’t mean that I never make decisions that they don’t understand or approve of: when I know they won’t like my decision, I try to convince them that I know what I’m doing, and try to get them to agree with me, but if they don’t, and it’s something I really want to do, I will do it.
The Parakeet’s entry got me thinking because this whole process of buying a house has been a bit of an emotional one, and I haven’t even bought the house yet sef! I have lived with my parents for nearly 29 years. I lived at home when I went to school. I seriously thought that because I didn’t go away to school, when I moved out of the house it would be for one of two reasons:
- because I got a job in a different city from the one my parents live in
- because I was getting married (to a guy I had dated while living at home)
When I started talking seriously to my parents about buying a house, this decision was not met with a lot of enthusiasm by them: my mom expressed thoughts like my own, that she didn’t see the reason to buy a house because she didn’t see me leaving home until I moved to my husband’s house. It made me sad because if past behaviour is an indicator of future behaviour (Thanks Dr. Phil!) then I have no reason to believe that my Prince Charming is going to show up any time soon (this is where Hope kicks in). Because of that, it’s crucial that I live my life for me and not wait for something that may or may not happen to determine my future. A few years from now, I don’t want to regret not buying a house in 2008 because I was depending on a factor that was not 100% within my control. I have to move on with my life, live the best life possible, even if that means dealing with things aren’t going as I hoped.
It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. If you can’t live for yourself who can you live for?
Although I wasn’t expecting to make this particular house buying decision on my own, I’m proud of my decision to buy a place. I think it’s a great investment and I’m glad that my education led to a job that allows me to be able to consider buying a place. I know that once it’s purchased, I’ll have a ball decorating it. I’ll also love hosting friends who come to visit, and having a place to experiment cooking Nigerian food.
It may end up being the best decision I have ever made.
Now before you leave comments telling me not to give up hope on finding Mr. Right, don’t worry: I haven’t. What I am ready to do is live an awesome life even if I never meet him (which is a possibility, no matter what any of you kind people say). There are no guarantees in life and I think it’s healthy to consider that this could be one of those things that might not happen for me. Consider it sha, not dwell on it, and start wearing tshirts that say “Single for life” or some other nonsense.
How about you? Is there anything that you’ve been putting off doing because you thought it depended on someone else? Give it a try and maybe you’ll discover that you don’t need anyone other than yourself (and God) to make it happen after all.