I read Steve Harvey’s Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man earlier this year and although I found the book to be geared a little too much toward women with children from previous relationships for my liking, the part that stuck with me is where the author says that women considering a man for a potential life partner should look for a man who fulfills the 3 Ps. The man for you, according to Harvey, will Profess, Protect and Provide for his intended.
Since learning the three Ps, I’ve looked for it in the relationships around me, and I’ll definitely look for it in my own (future) relationship. It’s important that the man you are with at one point or another say something along the lines of “I love you and I want to be with you”. It doesn’t have to come with a flowery speech or roses and chocolates, but if you’re with someone and you’re not sure how they feel about you because they’ve never professed it, that’s not good. I would go so far as to say that even if you know he cares about you but he’s never said it, you could be in trouble. Guys in love say it…what do you think?
Ah, protection is the reason some women seek mates who are taller than they are in my opinion: you want that illusion that should a big bad wolf/man/truck come toward you, this man you have chosen will be capable of sweeping you out of harm’s way. So, there’s that element but more practically, a man who is in love (or on his way to being in love) with you will want to keep you safe from harm. It should be his natural instinct. He’ll make sure your car is in working order, he’ll shovel your driveway, he’ll try to fix problems you mention (even when you just want him to listen he’ll be thinking up solutions!), big or small. That’s his way of protecting you.
Back in the olden days, men were looked at as the provider, and even as women’s salaries increase to reach those of men, and even if in some couples the woman is earning more than the man, men still want to provide for their women. This can be the provision (or significant contribution to) shelter, food, and other material goods, or it can be the provision of their services (not like that o!): they want to fix things around the house for you (without you asking!), make life easier for you where they can, and make themselves indispensable to you. A man who doesn’t feel needed in some way will have a hard time falling in love with the woman he’s with, I think.
When my colleagues in new relationships mentioned the following, I knew that they were with men who may very well be “keepers” (note: I’m not saying men who do the Three Ps are automatically perfect or good mates):
- one colleague mentioned offhand to her boyfriend that her lamp was broken and the next day he came over with a toolbox and fixed the lamp
- one guy has taken on the task of washing the dishes after dinner because his girlfriend hates that particular chore
- one smitten fellow no longer lets his girlfriend mow her lawn or do outside chores around her own house
How do the men you’re considering measure up to the above? Are the above realistic or too idealistic?