I believe there are a number of Nigerians, based abroad, who want to marry a fellow Nigerian and are considering going “back home” to find such a person, or are trying to find a way to meet them abroad. Challenges include living in areas of the world where the concentration of Nigerians is low, being older (35+) and not being as social as one could be to facilitate meeting new people, and wanting to know the person they end up with well before committing to them, which makes the “going back home” option daunting unless one is prepared to stay for months or even a year or two.
In last night’s Periscope, I asked whether viewers felt Nigerians looking for a serious relationship (dating or courting leading to marriage) with other Nigerians needed a way to connect (if you’re not Nigerian, you can substitute your nationality if this resonates with you).
Now the first thing that often comes up is why someone might want to marry someone of a specific nationality. My response is the very Nigerian response of answering a question with a question: if people can be picky about countless other aspects of their desired spouse (religion, height range, fitness level, hair colour to name a few), can’t someone have a preferred nationality on their list? I’ve found that although many don’t specify nationality, when talking one-on-one you’ll discover that some (not all) are more attracted to certain nationalities than others #justsaying. A preference is just that, and most of us (me included) would run into the arms of someone completely different from said preference if the key things lined up (#notafool).
So, back to making Nigerian love matches! It wouldn’t be for everyone, just those who:
- live in areas where there aren’t tons of fellow countrymen and women to connect with
- want to date or marry a fellow Nigerian
- are serious—like super serious—about finding love
In my favourite, longest, and most ridiculous scope a week ago, we talked about challenges that we had faced in dating. I remember back in the day there was a dating site for Nigerians but the last time I checked it was no longer online. To be honest, I’m not sure a traditional dating site is what we need; what I think we really need is for everyone who knows an awesome person who wants to be set up with a fellow Nigerian (this is key) to (with their permission, of course) sign them up somewhere as someone looking for love. I’ve suggested something like this before, and back in 2009 I tried my hand at matchmaking on this blog (who remembers that?).
Basically, I want an online version of a personal matchmaker who sets up people she knows and vouches for. My great-aunt was (unofficially) in this business for a while. She basically looked through her network for men who “came from good families” and didn’t have any known scandals attached to their names, and introduced them to the single women she knew who of course had the same qualities (this included my sister and I). My sister is now happily married (though the jury is out on whether our great-aunt gets credit for that introduction!).
I like the idea of someone vouching for a potential match, but this does not relieve the person being matched up from doing their own work to make sure the person they’ve been matched to is the real deal.
So what do you guys think? Do Nigerians abroad of a certain age, looking for love need something like I’ve mentioned, or do they just need to network more, look around their church (this is a topic for another day!), or pray harder? And seriously if you have an awesome brother in his late 30s or early 40s who’s looking for love, what harm can there be in sharing this blog post with him? I know people! ;)
Want my monthly messages?
Subscribe for a monthly, often personal, message from Good Naija Girl.