My sister celebrated her birthday on Monday of this week, and I am thankful that her life and health have been preserved to date, and she was able to celebrate with that decadent chocolate cake she loves so. Her and I have had our moments but I cannot imagine life without her and pray we are both blessed with a long and healthy life.
I found a birthday card that described our relationship really well, including mention of me being moody. She found that part especially funny (but she didn’t deny that it was true…hmm). Anyway, I intend to be hard on the birthday girl this year and continually
nag encourage her to accomplish some goals that she has been sitting on blithely and not doing anything about for years. Sadly it’s a disease my siblings and I seem to have acquired: part laziness, part lack of motivation. We don’t use our time well and we seem to think we have limitless amounts of time to accomplish everything we need to do, which results in us either not getting anything done or we having to rush to complete things at the last minute, bringing unneeded stress to our lives in the process. I really want to change this about me, and I perhaps if my siblings have a strong example, they will be motivated to become more driven to reach for goals they have made.
A month ago, I mentioned that I officially owned my own place, but it turned out I was sort of mistaken. It has been a long process to get to today, where I can say that I really really own the place. Because the place has condominium fees, it had to be registered with the city before I could begin paying the mortgage. The builder, however, likes to wait until a whole bunch of homes are ready before they register them, so when I moved into my place in April, I was told that it should be registered by June. June came and went. July came and was nearly over when I received notification that it had been registered. That’s when I posted that I was an official homeowner, thinking that my waiting was over. But then I found out that my actual closing date (when I sign my name at least 25 times on various pieces of paper) wasn’t until almost a month later! I was irritated, I was cross because since April I have been paying rent for the place, money that doesn’t count toward my mortgage. When you add to that the fact that my air conditioning unit was leaking and it damaged the ceiling of the room below it, in a house that was brand new and not even four months old when the trouble started, you can imagine that I wasn’t the most cheerful person.
I have had many moments of frustration over the past four months, and in all the little things that happened along the way, I realize that I didn’t very often ask for guidance or pray about situations that were confusing or frustrating me. Instead I fumed about them or complained about it to anyone who would listen. This morning as I was running around looking for the items I needed to complete the deal, and reading through the list of closing costs, trying to understand what each meant, I was suddenly reminded that it had been at least three months since I thanked God for the fact that I have a safe place to live and that despite the bumps along the way, things have always worked out in the best possible way at the end of the day. I had spent far too much time focusing on the things that I couldn’t control rather than being thankful that the things that I did have a say in went so smoothly. I had a moment with God before leaving for work and it felt good and calming to give thanks for all that has happened and share what was currently frustrating me before going to meet with the lawyer.
While I was praying I felt really aware of the fact that God doesn’t just hear our words and think, Oh, GNG’s praying for good health for her family. What a good girl, He actually looks deeper and sees our heart, our motivation, and that scared me a bit. It’s easy to get so caught up in saying a pretty sounding prayer, asking God to be with the usual people on our list without really thinking of what you want God to do in their lives. I know He knows the needs of our loved ones better than we do but I just find sometimes my prayers seem so routine and not very thoughtful (meaning I feel like I’m praying on autopilot). Happily, today it didn’t feel that way, and I hope to be more thoughtful when I pray.
So to recap, I am thankful for my sister’s birth (and life), finally being a homeowner, and receiving a lesson on sincerity in prayers.
What are you thankful for?