Neenah’s quest

A few weeks ago, someone referred to the site of a woman in the United States who is seeking a husband and going about it in a way that only a woman of the internet age might consider: she created a site (site is down but it used to be for her search called 52 Weeks to find Him, and shares her experiences there.

I didn’t spend much time looking around the site the first time, but I took a closer look today and I was impressed with what she had to say on her blog. She (Neenah) is a believer, and isn’t embarrassed to bring up that that she talked to God about whether or not she should break the “rule” about not kissing on the first date. She comes across as a smart woman who has it together and who isn’t content to go with the flow and hope that someone will find her. Instead she’s taken matters into her own hands and doing her part at age 42, an age where I bet most of her friends have probably been married for years, to find her husband. Some of her friends and acquaintances may even be working on their second or third marriages while she, never married, no children, has not yet met her husband. Some may have told her to give up on finding a life partner, to just continue to enjoy her career and her friendships, but I admire her for following her heart and doing what she can to realize her dreams.

I wonder what I would do in the same situation: If, twelve years from now, I’m still seeking my Good Naija Man, would I be optimistic enough to start a website and put myself out there for the world to judge like she has? Would I still care about finding a partner by that point or would I be so embittered by the years of searching waiting searching that I’d have decided that singledom is my destiny? How would I handle knowing that conceiving and giving birth to a child “naturally” is a remote possibility at that age? I’m not sure. I do hope, however, that if I ever find myself in that sitaution, I would handle it with the grace that Neenah has.

27 thoughts on “Neenah’s quest

  1. i havent shouted "FIRSTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!" on ur blog in a long time.

    im going to check out the site.

    i honestly dont know if i can do what she has done, i just pray i dont find myself in that situation.

  2. @goodnaijagirl…I believe you will find a soulmate sooner, I pray you will never have to be 42 to find a soulmate o in Jesus name. Amen!! He that finds a wife obtains favour from the lord. The site is uselful for the lady but he he he. I don't pray for you to be in position o. Hope you have a fun Sunday.

  3. I really hope that you dont have to wait that long. I hope you have the grace to be cool about it if it happens…Goodluck dearest.

  4. just yesterday, my sisters and i were discussing same thing and we concluded tht its all abt networking…tht surely,thr r some guys also in the same predicament(luking for partners)…but on tthe other hand i so hate to be huked up…..i prefer finding my own men,,,though im adventurous and i like to try new i blogged abt my aunty who got married in november at age 43…and rily i shd be slapped cos in tht blog i was very pessimistic but now i realise she truely has found her better half…better late than never they say.

  5. My dear, for as long as God is on your side, he will do the right thing for you, though I do not know what God has inn store for you, I pray that his plan includes shortening that journey to find that soul mate.

    I havent seen the site but Im sure that with ever optimism and grace that she has, it is subtley lined with desperation and I know that with desperation comes "settling" and I dont want that for you. My sister is 34 this year and has a little 2 yrs old…so lets say she got married at about 31, but still, myself and others think she rushed into it….

    Not to worry my dear, we pray that come what may, you will not be at the searching point in another 12 years

  6. 'None shall want her mate' is what the good book says…i believe that you my dear will be found by a worthy and faithful man very soon and you will not have to bother your head about whether you will go through this.

    And like you i salute Neenah's courage…

  7. I actually was talking about this wiv a new great friend last nite on that we definitely don't want to be talking about our 'search' in 10years time!!! I've been to Neenah's site after reading about it on a blog think its Danny Baggucci's place, and thinking whether I'd have the same courage and grace to do that…I just pray that in 12 yrs I won't be doing that by God's Grace!!!

  8. really brave of her to blog about her experience so openly!i pray we never find ourselves in that situation!but these days i have been thinking about it what it i end up being one of those old cargos who are still searching at an old age!GOD forbid!i hope not….but then life is not what we always want it to be…but men, i PRAY that is not my portion or that of anyone i know….Father lord shine upon us o-lol

  9. Hmmmmmmmm, I can imagine what challenges she had to overcome before she started that site.

    I pray in jesus name that very soon your mate would find you.

    Do have a very great week!

  10. I heard about that blog but am yet to visit it. I believe that people must take active steps to get what they want. Clearly, this lady has resorted to the internet and that is truly brave of her. I wish her luck and hope that you don't have to resort to the same tactic. Just come visit Maryland, Naija people full here and you just might accomplish your mission of finding a Naija guy. =)

  11. I hope this doesnt happen to any of us but I dont have an Aunt that is 38ish and its not looking good.My guy friend and I decided that if we are 35 and single, we will just mary each other.I hope it doesnt come to that….

  12. hmm..GNG..i am sure very soon u will come and share ur testimony with us. wherever u are mr right will find u in Jesus name

  13. That is very bold of her. If I were 42 and still single, I'll do the same…maybe more. But I don't intend to be, of course. Lemme go check it out.

  14. â–ºbumight

    Congrats! You beat the next person by hours!

    Something tells me a fine and accomplished girl like you won't ever have to worry about such a fate.

    â–ºDanny Bagucci

    Yes o! You have to use everything you have at your disposal nowadays!


    Amen and amen to your words! I had a fun Sunday, thank you very much.


    Thank you! You said "I hope you have the grace to be cool about it if it happens" and I hope the same too. I'll have to ask God for help with that, for sure.


    I was talking to a friend today and I have to agree with you: networking is key! One cannot site at home, alone and moan about not meeting anyone new because no one is going to come knocking at your door asking where the single ladies are at! I must get my butt out there and start networking in earnest. Thanks for the reminder!

    I'm going to read your entry about your auntie…I'm so glad she found her better half…must remember that God's timing is best.


    I'm saying amen to your comment my dear — thank you (especially about the "shortening" part!).

    YOu bring up the issue of settling and that can is a whole other topic on its own.

    Biology may have played a big role in your sister's supposed rush to the altar: it's very hard to feel comfortable waiting (if you know you want to have children) when you know that as you enter your mid-to-late 30s your ability to conceive easily and healthily can sometimes be compromised. I bet a lot of women would breathe easier if they didn't have to worry about the pregnancy-related complications that can start to show up after the age of 35…


    Thank you. I let my God know about the desires of my heart.

    I hope Neenah finds her mate soon too.


    Thank you :)

    â–ºShona Vixen

    You won't have to worry about that in 12 year's time in Jesus's name!

    â–ºMiss Definitely Maybe

    Your comment made me laugh because God knows there are tons of freaks out there. I hope they steer clear of her sha.

    â–ºfunms-the rebirth

    Me too! I'm not quite ready to put myself out there like that.


    lol "old cargos" that just cracked me up. I do not think that will be your own destiny sha…God will provide you a wonderful man in good time I pray.


    Thank you o, Iyawo. In fact, shey you have any tips for me? ;)


    You're so right about the potential challenges she must have faced starting the site. May she be blessed soon, and I'll be saying amen to your words. Have a great week too!


    You're kind.


    Our mummy! You're right about taking active steps…I've been too passive for too long. Why don't you just send me a correct Naija guy in the MD area na?


    Pray for your aunt o…if she is seeking someone, may she find him.

    lol you made a pact with a friend? I wonder if any couples have ever come from such a pact…probably! I should try and find my own such friend o!


    Thanks for the optimism and hope. I'll surely share my testimony o…soon, I hope.

    â–ºVera Ezimora

    You won't be. I am convinced of that.

  15. it'd have taken a lot of courage to put herself out there and much as i'm cynical about love found that way. i'm going to wish her luck and for you too,i know there's a good naija guy out there and you're both searching for each other , i hope you do meet. First time here!

  16. Wow, that's very brave of her! I guess she is taking her search to the next level. I pray it works out for her though. I'm sure there are guys that age out there who are also looking for a mate but can't seem to find one.

    I know you would find the partner you desire very soon GNG. He is right now looking for his missing rib and will locate you very very soon!

  17. â–ºButtercup

    Thank you! I wish you (and Chari!!) the best too!


    Thank you for visiting and thanks for your encouraging comment.

    â–ºFavoured Girl

    Thank you for your words. I am completely encouraged by them…they are so appreciated!

  18. that's brave of neenah,wish her the best.and i pray you don't wait long till you find ur spouse.You know what they say,love comes when u least expect it.

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