No Thankful Thursday post today: I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog and its purpose, and my purpose on this beautiful earth. You’d think I’d know my life’s purpose based on all the self-help books I’ve read, the Oprah Lifeclass I attended earlier this year, and the seminars I’ve attended, but I don’t. I’m dissatisfied with my life (yes, you can be grateful and thankful for all the blessings you’ve received yet still be dissatisfied with things, generally speaking). I constantly feel like I’m not where I want to be, and like I don’t know who I truly am. I’m certain that once I know my life’s purpose, things will become easier because I’ll be able to measure anything I think of doing against this purpose and if it honours that purpose, then I’ll do it.
If you can relate to my feelings, a book that’ll help with this exercise of figuring out our individual life’s purpose is The Purpose Driven Life (does anyone else think of the Purpose Driven Blog when they see that title?). I read the first chapter a few months ago, but was annoyed by the recommendation within it to read one chapter per day. I wanted to read as much (or as little) of the book each day, without following any rules. However, I’ve just finished re-reading the introduction and first chapter, and I’ve been challenged by these words on the second page of the introduction:
This is me to a T with everything I consume–books, magazine articles, videos, live seminars. I’m trying so hard to devour all the nuggets in all the books I want to read that I don’t make the time to reflect on what I’m reading in a way that allows it to stick with me long-term. The chapters of The Purpose Driven Life are quite short, which makes it tempting to keep reading but I will be disciplined and read just one chapter each day for the next 40ish days (fingers crossed that I don’t miss a day!) and reflect on each chapter as suggested in the book. The first chapter is titled It All Starts with God and there are some great nuggets in there (I don’t even like the world nugget yet I’ve used it three times in this paragraph!):
- If you were given an invention that you had never seen before and didn’t know what it was, asking the inventor would be the easiest way to find out that information. Similarly, to find out your life’s purpose you have to ask your Creator. Your life’s purpose won’t come to you by looking within yourself.
- You were created by God and for God.
I found this second point hard to digest. I’m a Christian so I believe that God has a plan for everyone’s life, that God created the world, and that none of us are accidents, but I still struggle to live my life as if it’s for God and I fail miserably at it. Most of the time I live my life for me, doing what I want to do and not thinking about whether or not it’s in line with God’s plans for my life. I don’t know God’s plan for my life, so that makes it easier to do my own thing because it doesn’t feel like I’m rebelling against God or anything like that.
Another thing about me is I’m stubborn and I like to be in control. If I’m created for God that means my life is not just about me and that’s hard to take. Someone needs to be hit by a humility truck!
Anyway, that’s what’s been going through my head for months if not a whole year by now. I’m not making the impact on the world that I want to make, nor am I accomplishing my personal goals of marriage, having children, and creating a business. The only way I can get rid of the blockage I feel in my life is to figure out what on earth I’m here for!