Do you remember three months ago when I was supposed to post a letter to my future husband? And then I delayed it? I hope to post the entry soon, but I have to admit I’m not in the same space emotionally as I was when I first started working on my letter. In addition, hearing about what some people are going through in their marriages is making me think even more about what I need from my future marriage, from my future husband, and of course the all-important what I will bring to my future marriage. I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few months about what actually matters in a relationship and what is just nice to have (but is not actually essential).
Also on my mind is something my dad has been telling for a long time. He has told me times without number to pray for a husband: that’s the only method he knows that works because he prayed for God to send him a life partner and he has no doubt that my mom was the answer to that prayer. In the early days of my parents meeting, my dad was talking to another woman, but that didn’t last long! I never asked my dad how he knew that my mom was “the One” but it’s something I definitely need to know.
If you have a strong
gut instinctGod connection, maybe this idea of getting a sign from God telling you who you should pursue a relationship with is a natural occurrence but I have an undeveloped gut instinct (I’m too cautious and overthink e-v-e-r-ything!) and I’m not good at listening for what God wants me to do. Most of the time I make a decision by comparing pros and cons and asking my trusted people for their input. Even though I often pray for guidance, I don’t always know if I’m making the right decision, based on what God would want me to do.
For example, we all know that challenges are inevitable in relationships, but how do you know when the challenge is a sign that you should draw closer and work together to achieve your goals, or a sign that you should call it quits? Sometimes a minor wrench in a relationship can lead to its end, while another couple might experience a severe trauma and end up stronger as a couple for it (though the severe trauma could just as easily end the relationship).
- How do you know whether or not to pursue a relationship with a particular person?
- How do you know who to pursue a relationship with (when faced with several options)?
- How do you know what a challenge is supposed to teach you?