I have taken to giving thanks once a week here, and it’s a time where I remember that life is good and not to be taken for granted. I get to go through those wonderful things that my life has been touched by in the past week, and reflect on them.
But despite this, I don’t feel like a joyful person. When I think of a joyful person, I think of my mom, who literally glows with joy. She is enthusiastic, she is warm, she is alive, she is spirited, she can be fiery, she gets involved (perhaps too much at times). But she’s joyful.
I also think of Jabez when I think of someone who oozes joy. I can just imagine what she would be like in person.
I know I’m similar to my mom in some ways: I can be enthusiastic, I can be fun and playful and laugh for hours in my infectious way that gets others laughing. I love to make others laugh too and work hard on that. But lately I find that the weight of some things on my heart has prevented me from fully exuding that joy. I smile, but does it reach my eyes? Do friends or even strangers on the bus look at me think “Gosh, that Good Naija Girl looks so joyful, like she has a secret that no one else knows.”? I doubt it.
So I am challenging myself to seek joy this week. I want my happiness with all the blessings in my life to show in my smile, my eyes, the way I walk, the way I talk, the way I respond to a stranger in the elevator. Even if I have to fake it at first, with time it’ll come more naturally. It’s one thing to be grateful to God for the good in my life but to be joyful about it, about my very life, that’s something I think I’ve been missing.
Who’s with me?
(PS If you haven’t checked out what the African Women are saying about interractial relationships this week, you can check out the wordsmith‘s post here, and my post (now with audio!) here. Don’t be too hard on me…I actually wasn’t nervous, “ums” and confusion really are a part of my regular speech patterns!