My dad decided to boost my confidence one day by discussing the effort I put into my friendships, including the time I spend hanging out with friends, calling them, trying to show that I care, and how he really saw the results of that investment when I moved out of the family home because friends showed up to help me move things and they contributed heavily to the furnishing of my new abode.
I thought I would spend today’s Thankful
Thursday Friday Thataturday (pronounce with lisp) recognizing the people who showed up to help and who have been helpful even after the move:
- I am thankful for the six people, one baby and all five members of my immediate family who took many hours out of their day to help me pack and unload the moving truck. And of course, thanks to Murphy’s law, the truck I had reserved was not available and we had to wait for it, meaning we were late getting back home. By the time we arrived, everyone who had committed to helping was waiting at my parents’ place for me.
- I appreciate the friends who couldn’t be there on moving day but who brought me bouquets of flowers to make my house feel homey. I also received a cook book, which I have really enjoyed using.
- I appreciate the friends who provided me with a television/dvd combo (+ the stand for it) to use for as long as I want to (I still have it almost eight months later). I have watched many seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and Sex And The City on it and it’s so handy to have an all-in-one. Not too long after that, another friend offered me her old tv and it’s sitting in the corner of my livingroom. Another friend keeps reminding me to come and pick up his dvd player that he’s not using. It’s too much.
- I appreciate the friends who came to my house and helped me put together a dresser that I had put together wrongly. The three of them retraced my work (you know how Ikea furniture has a million steps) until they got to the part I messed up and fixed it.
- I have two vacuums thanks to two friends who gave me theirs. One of these friends also gave me the shelf that holds my crafting supplies (in part)
- I’m sitting on a second-hand chair, and I could be lying on a couch that doubles as a queen sized bed. I’ve sat on more comfortable and more physically appealing pieces of furniture but someone gave them to me when they could have sold them for a profit. And speaking of couches, I’ve had two other friends offer me their couches that they were replacing since I got these ones, always thinking of me before giving them to someone else or trying to make a profit by selling them.
- My large coffee table that’s currently holding a bunch of things including my extended legs, is courtesy of a friend. She also gave me a modem so I didn’t have to go buy one (and we know that GNG is sort of an internet freak. Modem=essential).
- A friend bought a bigger artificial Christmas tree and gave me her old one to decorate for my first Christmas. It’s assembled and sitting in the middle of my living room.
As if their generosity wasn’t enough, almost all of these items that were given to me were also delivered to me. I didn’t have to chase anyone down, beg or even ask them to give me anything. They offered it all freely. They reached out to me and helped make the adjustment as financially painless as it could be.
And lest you think that I only appreciate the material support I received from friends and family, let me mention the emotional support. I’m an anomaly because I moved out of my parents’ house for the first time (ever) at the age of 29. Most do not live with their parents that long, because school or job opportunities take them away from home much earlier, ten or more years earlier in some cases! The decision to move was a big one for me and I received a lot of support on the matter even before I made any concrete decisions. People were willing to help me prepare a realistic budget, give me estimates for the new expenses I would be faced with and offer tips and helpful advice. People offered to come and help me put together furniture or install things that needed installing, or go shopping with me for essentials. I had help selecting the interior finishes for the place and people to tell me I wasn’t crazy for agonizing over handles versus knobs for my kitchen cabinetry (even if they were thinking it). And even just sharing in the excitement I felt by visiting the place and taking the 30 second tour (it’s not a big place) was a huge thing to me. The support may seem trivial but it was overwhelming, and it’s only when I think back to those months that I fully appreciate it.
When it was celebration time (house warming), my friends and colleagues showed up in pretty good numbers. I actually had two housewarmings on the same day to accommodate friends and the women from my church who wanted to celebrate with me. The women from our Yoruba community, Isokan Yoruba, still ask me when they can come and help me “wash the house”.
Even with all of this I haven’t mentioned the help that my three siblings and parents provided before I bought the place, on moving day and beyond. The process wasn’t easy for my parents or me, but when my parents were in my abode and were telling me how proud of me they are, and thanking God that he was allowing their child to prosper, I cried. I have been blessed abundantly and I am truly appreciative. God is good and he has more than met my needs!
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