3 turn offs


When you love someone (friend, family, significant other), you inherit the ability to look at their actions in the best possible light. So, in others you might find the habit of fidgeting annoying but your fidgety loved one gets a “pass” because you love them. If you don’t like someone, however, you can find a way to give even their kind acts a negative spin: the guy who’s always calling to check on you is “annoying”, while you might give your boyfriend grief if he doesn’t connect with you at least once in a 24-hour period. Ah, the double standard! Continue reading

The kind of 30-something I want to be

I’m 34 years old and I’m ok with my upcoming 35th birthday because I’ve decided to trust God regarding being an older mom. Sure I’m not where I thought I would be by now but that’s ok, as long as I’m inching forward. If like me you’re in your 30s and life has been a bit boring lately and way too sedentary for your liking, read on about one real and one fictional (who’s so real!) who’ve inspired me. Both have qualities I’d like to have: openness, fun-seeking, fearlessness (or doing things despite their fear), and contentment. Sarah Von Bargen I subscribe to the email newsletters of a certain Sarah Von Bargen of Yes and Yes and they’re the only email newsletters I look forward to receiving each week because her enthusiasm for life jumps off the page at you. Since I’m an inspiration junkie, the fact that she seems … Continue reading

Love don’t come easy

You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take

-The Supremes, You Can’t Hurry Love

I didn’t have a boyfriend in primary school, or high school, or university. After high school I told myself that I was a late bloomer and for sure love would happen in university. When it didn’t, I told myself that I’d meet someone in my 20s, and I’d get lucky on my first try and he’d be the one I’d marry, kind of as a prize for being patient and dealing with the heartache of rejection (because for me, never being chosen by the guys I had crushes on was painful rejection). When my 20s passed without love, I told myself Continue reading

3 ways to find an audience for your blog

When you first start blogging, if you don’t share your blog address with your friends, it can feel like you’re writing into a void. With thousands of other Nigerians blogging, you may wonder how your blog will ever get seen, even though you work so hard on your content. I believe there’s an audience for every blog, but finding your audience isn’t always easy: you can write amazing posts and not ever get readers because there are so many other distractions for people online and on their phones. It may be tempting to change what you write about, maybe become the next gossip blog (because among Nigerians gossip blogs reign supreme). If you can bring something unique to it, I’d say go for it, but if you’ll just be copying posts from the reigning gossip blogs (many of which copy their content from other sources), it won’t be easy to … Continue reading

My word for 2014: Brave

BRAVEminiHave you ever selected one word to focus on for a year? This word is supposed to represent what you want in your life and be the filter through which you run any decisions you make. I initially dismissed the idea because I thought it would be hard to pick just one word that could apply to more than one area of my life, but the word that keeps coming to me is BRAVE. Continue reading

Two tips for managing long-distance collaborations

I worked with a few sponsors for the 2013 Nigerian Blog Awards, and before that, I collaborated on small, related elements of past Awards. All of this was done long-distance. What I learned is long-distance collaborations, like long-distance relationships, are not ideal. I will never forget the potential sponsor who had me jumping through hoops for two months last year, working my butt off on different proposals and ideas, only to cancel the agreement when I contacted them after a week of silence and no response to two of my emails. The worst part to me was the feeling that if I hadn’t contacted them, they wouldn’t have contacted me to tell me that the deal was a no-go—which is unprofessional in my books. That experience and another one in particular have taught me so much about how I’ll handle such opportunities this year. Here are two challenges of long-distance … Continue reading