Finding love online – Data, A Love Story

This post talks about an unorthodox approach to finding love, which is not for everyone. I really haven’t done the methodology justice so you should probably read the book or you can ask me questions about anything that doesn’t make sense. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! If you have a sweetheart, I hope you’re planning something special for him or her (hint: special doesn’t need to be costly or time-consuming!). If you don’t have a sweetheart, show non-romantic love to someone: a sibling, a friend, the person you buy your lunch from every day. My plans for the evening are to go for a lovely dinner with a friend at one of our favourite restaurants, The Keg steakhouse. I read a book last month on the topic of finding love. The title was Data, A Love Story (author: Amy Webb), and I discovered the book last year when its author was … Continue reading

Going to Africa

It bothers me when people talk about going to Africa when they’re really going to one specific country in the continent. I also get growly when people list off the “countries” they’d like to visit one day, and include Africa in the same list as Norway or New Zealand. If someone tells me they know someone who’s been to (or is going to) Africa, I always ask “Which country?” Just touched down in Africa with @ChelseaClinton. Excited to travel for next 10 days to @ClintonFdn projects. #Africa2013 — Bill Clinton (@billclinton) July 31, 2013 People generally don’t say they’re going to Asia or Europe (for example) unless they’re actually planning to visit several countries in the continent; even then they’ll generally specify which countries they’ll be visiting. I have to admit that Asian and European countries may be better-known than African countries. Some may not know that Africa is a … Continue reading

I’m making progress and asking you for two favours

Where are you going? I don’t blame you for running since I’m asking you to do work but give me 5 minutes, please. First! I’ve made progress in achieving my 2014 goals. Having your goals right in your face is the best way to make sure you don’t forget them—print them out or write them down, and stick them to your mirror, bedside table, vehicle dashboard, wherever it needs to be to catch your eye on the regular. To make it supereasy to follow along with my goals, I’ve created a page for each category of goal, and I’ll update each as I have new information: Friends goals Love goals Work goals Other goals You can also access these pages from the home page: just hover over “THE GIRL” on this site’s navigation menu and there it is! Secondly, I created a supershort survey that I’d really like your feedback … Continue reading

Compromising or settling – Part 1

My friend and colleague Wendy tossed a question to me a couple of weeks ago. She wanted to know if I thought there was a difference between compromising and settling in relationships. Compromise has such a positive connotation: if you’re unwilling to compromise you’re considered stubborn. But settling? Well, we all breathe a sigh of pity for those who settle, don’t we? Oh, Kemi? Yeah, she settled with Wale. I guess she got desperate—you know she’s almost 40 right? I thought about Wendy’s question for a moment, and my reply to her (via text) was “The difference between compromise and settling is how YOU feel about it. Lol what I may consider a compromise you might see as settling…this should be blogged!” And here we are. The List—setting the bar The only way I will follow my heart these days is if my head has given my heart permission, meaning … Continue reading

Thankful: January 2014

The first month of 2014 is drawing to an end you know what? I’m glad I’m still here! We are not guaranteed another breath so when we get to breathe and continue living, we have to appreciate it. I thank God! I’m glad that an event for the Nigerian Blog Awards that had been in the works for months finally took place earlier this month. What a relief! Even though there are still elements to sort out, the hard part is behind me. I had my annual doctor’s appointment last week and I thank God that things are okay. There’s room for improvement but I have a clean bill of health. The doctor is wonderful (I’d break my own rules and propose to him if he wasn’t already married with three children). He’s kind, warm, and he really listens (excellent bedside manner, and the only beside manner I’ll be getting … Continue reading

3 turn offs


When you love someone (friend, family, significant other), you inherit the ability to look at their actions in the best possible light. So, in others you might find the habit of fidgeting annoying but your fidgety loved one gets a “pass” because you love them. If you don’t like someone, however, you can find a way to give even their kind acts a negative spin: the guy who’s always calling to check on you is “annoying”, while you might give your boyfriend grief if he doesn’t connect with you at least once in a 24-hour period. Ah, the double standard! Continue reading