Misconceptions that some Nigerian men have about (North America-based) Naija girls

I said I’d be talking about this next, so here we go. In Misunderstood?, I mentioned that some guy told me that he was afraid that I was looking for a man who was well established to spoil me. On a Nigerian forum that I am on, some of the men insist that we Naija women are looking for a free ride and a wealthy man to take us on the free ride. And that this man has to be attractive (face) and possess a hot body. These men believe that we women are asking for too much and will end up being old and alone and having to settle for a man much worse than we could have gotten if we weren’t so…picky. (“Picky” is a word that men use to describe women who refuse to date them and they can’t understand why.) I won’t lie: some women are … Continue reading

Why are Nigerian men in Nigeria looking for love online?

I am Good Naija Girl and I am looking for love on the internet. (Hi Good Naija Girl!) I chose the internet not because I think online love is particularly romantic, but because I live in an area where the kind of man I want to meet (Nigerian, preferably Yoruba, legally able to live in Canada (this is a new requirement o!), university educated (or in the process of getting an education), 35 years of age or less) is an extinct species (and I have the testimonies of a few friends to prove it). Since my goal is finding a guy with which I can enter into a relationship, I’m actually looking for guys who live in my city, province, country or continent, the closer the better. I don’t think the right guy for me is waiting in Germany or Spain, I think it’s very possible that he’s somewhere on … Continue reading

Misunderstood?

When my friend who knows I’ve joined some dating sites asked how the whole process was going, I had to tell her the story of how I met this guy who lives only a few hours away and how he seemed to be what I was looking for (at least based on first impressions sha). She was so excited for me as I continued the story, until I got to the part about his admission that he was using his friend’s working permit to work in the country and my reaction to that, and how we went from talking regularly on the phone to not talking at all, all in the space of five days. She was torn: she is one of the friends who thinks it’s crazy that I’m actually holding out for a Nigerian guy who’s no more than five years older than me, university educated, taller than … Continue reading

On sounding Yoruba or Nigerian

When you read someone’s blog, do you ever wonder what they sound like? I don’t usually, but if I ever talk to them in person, sometimes I find that I’m surprised by how they sound. I guess even though I wasn’t thinking about it, I had created a picture in my head of what someone who writes a certain way would sound like. Well I guess I should let you know that I don’t sound Nigerian, or even African when I talk. Apparently when we moved to Canada from Nigeria after three years of living in Naija, I had a bit of an accent: I pronounced “chicken” shicken, I said saLAD instead of SAlad (ie I put the accent on the wrong part of the word). I can’t remember my other English mistakes but I know I had a number of them because I was put in English as a … Continue reading

Naija wedding site freak

I love romance. I won’t even try to pretend that I don’t get excited when I hear that someone I know gets engaged. Even if I don’t know the person, I get excited. And it’s not just Nigerian weddings that get me excited, all of them do. As an idealist, I’m excited at the thought that yet another person has found his or her true love, the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. I think of all the excitement that is in store for them as they plan their wedding, decide exactly where they will live and how they will organize their new life together, and figure out the mundane things like who will clean the bathrooms, and who will do the cooking. (If being a good Naija girl means I must want to do the cooking then I’ve been lying to you all along: … Continue reading

Things on a dating profile that make me click away

If … the guy is older than 35 (too old) he has children (it’s not an absolute deal breaker but I do pray that the man God has in mind for me does not have any children) he is separated (again, I pray that a man who is divorced is not in my future but since separation is the first stage towards being divorced, I try to avoid these fellows) his picture shows a bare chest (I can’t help it: I automatically think “he’s conceited and thinks he’s got a great body”) his highest completed education is highschool he doesn’t have a profile picture (looks aren’t a big deal to me but nobody has an excuse in this day and age to not post a picture) he’s a smoker What are your deal breakers?