Things I have never heard a Naija man say

“Let me cook for you” Someone please tell me they have had their Naija man cook for them? An entire meal where you did not have to make any of it. Bonus points if he: served the food too tried cooking oyinbo food for you (at your request, or because he knows you like it) cleaned the kitchen (including dishes and pots and pans!) after the meal “I planned a surprise for you” This doesn’t include the proposal though! I have heard of some pretty exciting proposals by Naija men but how many women have been surprised by an event or gift that was planned by their boyfriend for either a special occasion (other than a proposal) or “just because”? “It’s ok if you don’t want to cook or like to cook. I’ll do all the cooking” I know I’m dreaming with this one but surely there are Naija men … Continue reading

More about online dating

I did a search on a dating site for men that fit the criteria that I’m looking for with respect to age and location and one guy’s status says that he’s married. I’m so glad that he’s not letting a small thing like marriage stop him from looking for love :) – – – – There are two schools of thought when it comes to paying for online dating services: You get what you pay for and if you pay, you’ll likely get guys/girls who are seriously looking and are willing to put their money where their advert is. or I can go out and find love anywhere so I’m not paying for something I could get for free. I can see both arguments but I agree most with the first one, and I think as people get older or at least leave environments where they see and possibly meet … Continue reading

Misconceptions that some Nigerian men have about (North America-based) Naija girls

I said I’d be talking about this next, so here we go. In Misunderstood?, I mentioned that some guy told me that he was afraid that I was looking for a man who was well established to spoil me. On a Nigerian forum that I am on, some of the men insist that we Naija women are looking for a free ride and a wealthy man to take us on the free ride. And that this man has to be attractive (face) and possess a hot body. These men believe that we women are asking for too much and will end up being old and alone and having to settle for a man much worse than we could have gotten if we weren’t so…picky. (“Picky” is a word that men use to describe women who refuse to date them and they can’t understand why.) I won’t lie: some women are … Continue reading

Why are Nigerian men in Nigeria looking for love online?

I am Good Naija Girl and I am looking for love on the internet. (Hi Good Naija Girl!) I chose the internet not because I think online love is particularly romantic, but because I live in an area where the kind of man I want to meet (Nigerian, preferably Yoruba, legally able to live in Canada (this is a new requirement o!), university educated (or in the process of getting an education), 35 years of age or less) is an extinct species (and I have the testimonies of a few friends to prove it). Since my goal is finding a guy with which I can enter into a relationship, I’m actually looking for guys who live in my city, province, country or continent, the closer the better. I don’t think the right guy for me is waiting in Germany or Spain, I think it’s very possible that he’s somewhere on … Continue reading

Misunderstood?

When my friend who knows I’ve joined some dating sites asked how the whole process was going, I had to tell her the story of how I met this guy who lives only a few hours away and how he seemed to be what I was looking for (at least based on first impressions sha). She was so excited for me as I continued the story, until I got to the part about his admission that he was using his friend’s working permit to work in the country and my reaction to that, and how we went from talking regularly on the phone to not talking at all, all in the space of five days. She was torn: she is one of the friends who thinks it’s crazy that I’m actually holding out for a Nigerian guy who’s no more than five years older than me, university educated, taller than … Continue reading

On sounding Yoruba or Nigerian

When you read someone’s blog, do you ever wonder what they sound like? I don’t usually, but if I ever talk to them in person, sometimes I find that I’m surprised by how they sound. I guess even though I wasn’t thinking about it, I had created a picture in my head of what someone who writes a certain way would sound like. Well I guess I should let you know that I don’t sound Nigerian, or even African when I talk. Apparently when we moved to Canada from Nigeria after three years of living in Naija, I had a bit of an accent: I pronounced “chicken” shicken, I said saLAD instead of SAlad (ie I put the accent on the wrong part of the word). I can’t remember my other English mistakes but I know I had a number of them because I was put in English as a … Continue reading