What’s meant to be will be?

You won’t believe this…or maybe you will. First, let me come clean: I am currently listed on two online dating sites, Meet Nigerians and Afrointroductions. I joined the latter site on January 20 and I joined Meet Nigerians on February 18. I also joined match.com for their seven day trial, and was on that site between February 5 and February 11. My profile is actually still on that site but if I want to do anything I have to actually subscribe (pay). Afrointroductions is full of men in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and (yesterday) 60s who message me thinking, perhaps, that I believe that age is nothing but a number and would be flattered that a man 15 years or more older than me is interested in me. Most guys on MN who have shown interest are the right age but live around the world or something. Or they … Continue reading

The online dating profile

When it comes to online dating, I think I am stricter than I would be with someone in person. Schichere mentioned that she cannot abide guys who shell/tabon when talking and I feel the same way about written English. I know my own English is not always on point but I try. So when it comes to online dating profiles I’m horrified when I read a profile written by a man (not elementary school boy) who claims to have a Bachelors abi Masters degree and cannot write coherently. This is your first impression to the woman of your dreams and you can’t be bothered to use capital letters or proper punctuation? That drives me mad. If a profile is full of spelling mistakes, I’m going to draw the conclusion that the author of the profile either: doesn’t know how to spell (and if the misspelled words are simple ones, I’ll … Continue reading

What we can learn from a matchmaker

I am currently reading the book on the left, Secrets of a Fix-Up Fanatic: How to Meet and Marry Your Match (yes, another library loan) and you have to read it. Ok, maybe you don’t have to but it sure has some good tips on things you should make sure you have in order before you go out looking for your man. Let’s just say I read it and decided that I have a lot of work to do. But before you rage at the author, she does say that you don’t have to have everything in order before you put yourself out there, but it sure does make you realize that if you think having a man will make things in your life that you don’t like better, you’re probably wrong. A man will not fix the fact that you’re dissatisfied with the city/country you live in, or your … Continue reading

Why can’t Mr. Right find us?

I finished reading this book on finding a man last week or the week before, Why Mr. Right Can’t Find You (thrifty Naija woman that I am, I have borrowed this book from the library). This is another practical book about why Mr. Right might be having trouble finding you, but I feel like it speaks more to the oyinbo woman. I keep trying to recall whether I’ve seen Naija men hanging out in any of the following places mentioned in this book: art galleries, pubs, libraries or bookstores, and the answer is no. Granted, I don’t go to art galleries that regularly, or pubs even (I prefer somewhere where I can dance), but I do visit bookstores and libraries quite regularly. To give Naija men some credit, perhaps they visit these places at other times or go to locations on the other side of town (my side of town … Continue reading

The men I never dated – I met him at a Nigerian party

How sad that my series on the men I never dated is coming to an end. Today’s story is fairly short, but it’s unique because this was the first guy who met me in person first (no online stuff first) and seemed interested in getting to know me (perhaps ‘seemed’ is the operative word here). Back in 2004, I was a member of Curves, this fitness centre (this was no gym) where you’d go in and use their series of machines for 30 minutes every other day and they guaranteed that you could lose weight by doing this circuit three days a week. Curves was located close enough to my home that I would walk there and back. The walks became a good time to be on my own and just chill. I liked the ease of the workout, and the fact that it was for women only. After a … Continue reading

Shady men and their secret wives

I am somewhat harsh towards Nigerian men who live in Nigeria, particularly if they answer an ad that I have on an online dating site because I have specifically mentioned that I’m looking to meet someone that I can meet in person sooner rather than later. Other reasons I’d be leery of becoming emotionally attached to someone before meeting them is that you may end up with a conman who sees you as an easy ticket into a different country. Not all Nigerian or African men are like this, but some are. And it is not always easy to know the intentions of someone when you only speak online, or even on the phone. Or even if you meet them in person. My sister once dated a guy from Ghana who was good looking, could carry on a good conversation and was left handed (lefties make me weak in the … Continue reading