Good Nigerian girls and sex

I don’t know what the average age is in North America for a girl or woman to lose her virginity, but I suspect that there are some Nigerian women who are doing their part to keep that average up. I grew up in a Christian household. My mom did have the occasional conversation with me about sex but basically she was repeating information that my sister and I had already absorbed from those around us and from church: premarital sex is a sin. Your virginity is something precious that should be saved for the right man (his name is Your Husband). When it comes to big things like sex, drugs and alcohol, I’m about as obedient as they get and take no chances, so it’s no surprise that I feel like I’m on my way to being the female version of the 40 Year Old Virgin. That said, I don’t … Continue reading

Naija (Nigerian) weddings

Before last year, I had never been to a Nigerian wedding and last year I attended four celebrations, three involving Nigerian women that I knew and one was the son of a Naija woman I knew. Here are some things I learned about Nigerian weddings (Yoruba in particular): The chances of a Nigerian who has been living in North America for many years marrying a fellow Nigerian are slim Granted, my sample size is very small but of the four couples that got married, only one bride and groom were both Nigerian. The male Nigerian married a girl who was half Lebanese, and the two other girls married men from South America and the Caribbean. I can understand why this is the case: although our city has a number of Nigerians, the density is not so high that your chances of meeting a fellow Nigerian exceed your chance of meeting … Continue reading

The men I never dated – it started with the blog

Ok, this guy was an Ibo man and we met because of blogging. He was new to my city and I guess he was googling something about Nigerian parties and my blog (not this one) popped up. He left a comment, we moved to exchanging emails, talking on the phone and eventually we met. Then he dropped the bomb: he had a girlfriend. I was so crushed because this guy was pretty damn perfect in my eyes: he was taller than I, he was quite North Americanized, he was smart (huge turn on to me). He was actually too smart and in retrospect I bet he thought I was the dumbest girl around. Our relationship never moved past friendship, although many times I prayed that he would get rid of his girlfriend and realize the treasure he hung out with occasionally. He was a sweet guy and my first massage … Continue reading

Love seeking

When you’ve been single for as long as I have, it’s easy to give up, to stop believing that God has the right person waiting for you. Someone who will complete you in a way that can’t even be put into words. (And no, the implication is not that you were not a full person before him, but rather that having that special person in your life will will greatly enhance your life). So I start thinking that maybe my standards are too high, maybe what I want isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. I wonder about the few guys I could have dated and I wonder, did I let a good one go? Maybe, but I doubt it. When I’m feeling hopeless and full of despair, and wondering if it’ll ever happen for me, I watch this slideshow (offline, sadly!) of the engagement of the Atlanta photographer, … Continue reading

Non-Naija crush

The last two movies I’ve seen have starred this delicious man and I have to confess that I have a serious crush: His name is James Marsden and I just saw him in 27 Dresses.

The burden of Naija parents is not light

Here’s a great article on what immigrant parents go through. That is exactly what my parents deal with all the time. A friend of mine has a plan to be able to support her parents in a few years’ time and I had already been thinking of how I can accomplish the same thing myself. I just need an idea and a willingness to work toward it.