The men I never dated – McDonalds meeting

I wasn’t lying when I said you’d hear about the Naija men I’ve almost or never dated. We’ll make this the Friday feature (don’t worry, I don’t know that many guys so this will be over before long). I’ll go through the Nigerian men I’ve almost dated in reverse order, starting with the most recent. Last year, I met a guy on that horrible dating site I already mentioned. It wasn’t love at first sight: I could tell he was a decent guy—Christian, hardworking, educated—but in a couple of areas I could tell we were not going to be anything more than friends. He couldn’t really carry a conversation and we just had nothing in common. I am sort of playful and joking and he just didn’t really jive with me in that respect. And he insisted that our first meeting be at a McDonalds! I forgive him for that … Continue reading

Good and “bad” Nigerian girls

I don’t have anything in common with those Nigerian girls. Who do I mean by “those” girls? The ones who: wear a ton of makeup have bubble butts are super skinny or super curvy with minimal body fat talk “Black” (African Americans) have men chasing them from day one have had a sexual partner or twothree, and discuss sexual activities a bit too freely dress in low cut tops and high cut skirts, pants and bottoms wear high heels confidently are really loud at events so you know they’re there Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I’m not loud when I’m with friends, but these girls are almost obnoxiously so. They seem to think that every social event revolves around them. When they are on the dancefloor, they aren’t dancing because they love the song or the act of dancing, but because they’re trying to impress someone. I … Continue reading

Why a Naija guy?

I was talking with my mom yesterday, and I beggedasked her to help me find an eligible man (um, not that I’m desperate or anything because nothing is less sexy than a desperate woman, no matter how good she claims to be ;)). Specifically, I asked mummy to find me a guy who was Nigerian, between the age of 28 and 32 and preferably living in North America. My sister stopped me immediately and told me I was being too picky, and she asked why he had to be Naija. My (perhaps superficial) reason is here but I want to know why I can’t put “Naija” down as one of the things I would like in a guy? If I meet a man who meets my other more important criteria (concerning religion, values and work ethic, etc) and he’s not Nigerian, I’m sure I wouldn’t be so stupid to let … Continue reading

Finding a good Nigerian man

I won’t lie: you are going to hear a lot about this topic if you choose to stay around. Because I live in Canada, and not in a part that has a lot of Naija men, my friends have asked me over and over again why I think I’m going to marry a Nigerian. I have the same answer for them: I don’t know, but I always imagined that I would. Want to hear more about what I hoped for? In my dreams I’d meet someone who had lived in Nigeria longer than I, perhaps even gone to highschool there, or done a college/university degree there. The reason this is important is so that when I go to Nigeria to visit, I could go with someone who knows their way around. I see this boyfriend/husband of mine helping me increase my knowledge of Nigeria, laughing or mocking my mispronunciations of … Continue reading

Stuck between two cultures

When you are the child of immigrants, no matter where your family has come from, I think you go through a phase (that can last for years or forever) where you feel like you’re stuck between two cultures: that of your parents, which you usually claim as your own, no matter if you weren’t born in the same country as your parents, and the culture you live in, which you absorb because we humans are resilient and adaptable. I wasn’t born in Nigeria but I did live there between the ages of three and six. So even though less than 1/9th of my life was spent in Nigeria, I find the influence of Naija through my parents is strong. My parents, like most Nigerian parents, were strict. Education was important and excelling was drilled into me at such an early age that I wanted to be the smartest student alive. … Continue reading

My introduction

For a short snippet about me, please start at my About page. I have a 100 things list too, but it’ll take me a while to get up to 100 facts about me. I will be updating it as I go along. You can find some basic information about me on there too. I guess it makes sense to start with why I started a blog about being a Nigerian North American (NNA) who doesn’t quite feel like she fits in. Well, for one, I’m hoping to attract people in the same boat. You don’t have to be a Nigerian North American to have some of these feelings of course, but that is the perspective I know very well and I’ll be sharing.