Searching without looking

When I first started this blog, I wrote a lot more about the search for a Good Naija Man, a search that I haven’t given up on, but I’ve just decided not to dwell too much on (on this blog sha). I was on a couple of dating websites but I dropped those, with a plan to go back in the new year. Why the new year? Well because I would have slimmed down to a size that would have men foaming at the mouth at my bodacious bod, that’s why!

Um, that didn’t exactly happen so I can either join the sites again anyway or push back my timeline of re-entering the online dating world. I don’t even know if I feel like going back there…it wasn’t actually fun.

In the meantime some people have been working overtime to help me. One friend introduced me to her (sort of) friend via facebook, but that didn’t go anywhere. Her main reason for introducing us to each other was the fact that we both live in the same country, we’re both single and we both seemed to be nice people in her opinion. Lasting relationships have been built on less, right?

While I was in Nigeria, my great aunt tried to work her matchmaking magic, but the guy apparently intended for me (to meet) was not able to come to my great aunt’s daughter’s wedding (he lives in Lagos). I did end up meeting him for 15 minutes in Lagos before we left for Canada and not two minutes after he left, my great aunt was on the phone, asking if he had showed up and how our conversation went. When I told her that he and I were engaged, she made a noise of exasperation and asked me to pass the phone to my mom instead of thanking me for telling her what she wanted to hear! How ungrateful!

Every now and then, I have this wonderful daydream that I’ll find love through my blog. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? He’d read my blog and fall in love with my words, self deprecating yet witty as they are (ahem) and comment occasionally, while spying on getting to know me through the blog. Eventually we’d start emailing each other and he’d reveal to me insights that I didn’t even know about myself that he gleaned from reading. Needless to say his emails would be eloquent and witty and captivate me utterly. (An aside: I am such a sucker for a guy who can write well and amuse via email as well as in person…be still my heart!) We’d meet and get on swimmingly. But in order for this to be a true sappy movie type plot, we’d have to have a misunderstanding that is my fault and will be resolved by me driving across the country at the last minute to stop his wedding to another woman or something like that. Good thing I have my driver’s license!

2009 has a lot of love-related hopes and dreams to live up to, let me tell you!

17 thoughts on “Searching without looking

  1. Hmmm.. very interesting daydream….Hopefully you'll get your drwam Naija Man in 2009….. Driving across the country to stop a wedding.. Now that's definitely stuff for a best -selling chick flick….. Here's to a great 2009 anyways…

  2. LMAO!!!!!!!!!

    you have an interesting and humurous blog going

    as for the good man

    many more people have found needles in haystacks

    jus kiddin im raising my glass of apple juice to your love filled 2009 and beyond

  3. I wish you all your hearts desires in 2009 including a charming man that you will love and love you.

  4. Lol @ u driving across country to stop his wedding. Take am easy with thw driving oh! u just they learn how to walk and u wan run marathon :D *tease*

  5. lmao @ ur dreams of meeting a man through your blog…

    i actually have guys that read and mail me on my afrobabe face book profile hoping we get it on..

    sometimes I am feeling the guy and then he spoils it by constantly talking about sex, proving that's what he wanted from the get go…

    yeye people…

  6. Lol @ the Romantic Movie-ness of it all.

    Here's to you getting who you want, and need.

    God has you're back.

    -Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

  7. I hope this comes out in bold am such a sucker for a guy who can write well and amuse via email as well as in person Or I should create a banner for this!

    Maybe I am a sign ;-)

    2009 is for realization of our dreams GNG!

  8. lol@ meeting your Mr.Right through your blog!!

    Just keep doing you boo…He will come when you least expect him too

    Wish you all the best in 2009. May all your dreams come true!

  9. LOL… Well, I really want you to meet the man of your dreams, but I'm not sure I want you to do the whole "driving across the country at the last minute to stop his wedding to another woman" thing ohh…. I would prefer that he just dazzle you with all the things that you want, and even more than you could imagine. Here's to 2009 and GNG's great love. Cheers! :)

  10. LOL GNG, just found your blog again and as usual very interesting!

    2009 will be ur year!- Guess that's what i can say since all my uncles and aunties keep saying that to me! Anywho, i wish you the best babes, it WILL happen and i definetly want an Invite!

  11. A girl after my heart…

    Ok maybe not the stopping the wedding bit…that, I dont think I can handle.

    I do understand when you say some one who has a way with words…interestingly, I met one, a blogger, so I guess not too far off from that fantasy, but its complicated!

    wouldnt that be perfect though?

    Not to worry dearie, I hope you find that special person soon. I'm only 21 and my family already have a list that I can be match made with, so I guess I feel you to a point. Just take it easy, and remember, whatever the rush may be, that isnt an excuse to settle for less.

  12. @Danny Bagucci

    Amen! Cheers to a lovely 2009 for us all

    @Miss Definitely Maybe

    Thanks for the compliment, and thanks for the toast.


    Thank you my dear, I wish you all the best in '09 too…perhaps you'll be receiving some big news of your own near the end of the year, if not before!

    (And yes…one out of the city roadtrip and I think I'm a seasoned pro driver!)


    I find constant talk of sex from a stranger very off-putting! I think the internet sometimes emboldens people in negative ways — things they'd never say in person, all of a sudden they have no problem saying it. I'm sure they're surprised that you're less willing to discuss sex than they thought you'd be, given the focus of your blog!

    @La reine

    God has my back! I will have to remind myself of that once or twice; thanks for reminding me!

    Happy New Year to you too!

    @Seye Kuyinu

    You ke? :)

    Amen o! May all our dreams come true this year…I have a good feeling about 2009.


    Thanks…wishing you all the best too!


    Hey, it could happen! Since everyone keeps saying he'll come when I'm not expecting it I'm starting to believe there might be some truth to that.

    Wishing you all the best in this new year.


    I like your idea too…and I'm open to it :)

    Cheers, darling.


    Thanks for passing on best wishes. And you'll definitely get an invite when the blessed day arrives. You will have to bring your man with you.


    lol I'm watching! If it doesn't happen that way I will be calling you to complain!


    You have me curious…I may have to send you and email and get all the juicy details.

    Ah, only 21? You have sooo much time to figure all this out.

    I fully agree that a good mate is worth waiting for and settling isn't a part of my equation. All the best in 2009!

  13. All I gotta say is… don't you think you're limiting yourself by specifically searching for a Nigerian man? I mean, I understand why you'd want one, and all that, but if you're not in Nigeria, setting your heart out for only one particular type of guy sounds… well. You know. I think you should open your mind to love from any angle/country. You never know.

  14. Hi! I feel the same way too- especially living in the "National Capital Region" lol. From my experience, the pickings of good Nigerian men are slim to none :P. I hope you find what you are looking for. FYI, I am also kind of looking :)!

  15. I found this thread again…interesting postings! Well, the last post by lala123 says something about '…the pickings of good Nigerian men…slim to none…'. Well, I think there are Naija men here in Canada and I mean really good ones and I have no problems expatiating on what I reckon as 'good'.

    However, it seems for some odd reasons everyone is waiting for some 'perfect' person who will show up tomorrow, next month, next year or even five years and may never show-up…and this person will be 'better' than the several other people you have 'met' but you never got to know. Well, this is the internet age and we sometimes want things 'instantly'.

    To illustrate with just one example: I have this Naija friend who for over a period of two years couldn't 'find' someone! He was really SEARCHING big time but no lady and someday, he told me was traveling to Naija, got engaged to this lady and got married months afterwards!

    Well, my friend is well educated and got his life together but he had to marry someone I know he doesn't know really that well…though they were acquainted with each other in the service year. Though, he preferred a Naija girl he could get to know here but well, this is life! He is not the only person who I know had to resort to this but well, wetin man go do? :( …LOL.

    Naija ladies do shakara for the men, the men do shakara for the ladies…on the long run…everyone is gotta find a solution…whatever it is! A Yoruba adage says: Ileke ma ja si ile, ileke ma ja si ode…ibi kan ni ileke a saa ja si! :D

    One last thing: Nothing beats a good naija man + a good naija woman! (I fit explain but, gaskiya, I don use enuf space already!)

    One love!

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