Thankful, prideful

I started this entry over 24 hours ago, but got distracted along the way.

When things aren’t going so well, it’s always tempting to use that as an excuse not to think about giving thanks but we’re to give thanks in all things. I had a good weekend but as is often the case, a couple of minor incidents can combine to suddenly make me think the weekend wasn’t that great after all. I am hoping this week will be better.

I am thankful for:

  • great conversations with friends. I was up until nearly 4am after having an intense emotional discussion with my friends (who happen to be married to each other). We have these conversations two or three times a year and it’s amazing how they happen. They are never planned and we just lose track of time and get so into it. It’s conversations like this that will make us lifelong friends. Sign of a good conversation: waking up with a hoarse voice.
  • continued employment. I had my performance evaluation this week and I’m happy with how it went. I’m also excited that starting in November, I will have an extra week of annual vacation. Maybe one day I’ll have so much vacation time that I can contemplate going somewhere other than Nigeria every few years.
  • my family’s continued health. It’s something we don’t take for granted.

On another note, I’ve been thinking of one of my bad traits recently, Pride.

Pride will keep your lips closed when they should issue an apology or utter a confession.
Pride will give the silent treatment.
Pride cares about winning more than peace.
Pride will use a past occurrence to fan the flames of discord.
Pride focuses more on “who was wrong?” than “how can we make things right?”

Recognizing pride is a big step toward humility, and I am so thankful for the examples I have in my life of peacemakers. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Edited to add:

I subscribe to and today’s Healthy Reflection is below, and it’s very much related to what has been on my mind lately.

Do you seek revenge when someone has wronged you?

When someone wrongs you, it’s easy to go to that place in your mind and conjure up ways to get back at them. Our lives are in a constant state of change, and yet our hearts hold on to hurtful memories with a tight grip. Remember the girl that was mean to you in high school? She could have evolved into a very pleasant, kind woman, but your mind is fixated on what she did. Truly, the idea of revenge is bittersweet and foolish. Don’t waste your time and energy stewing. Inevitably you will come across someone who is flat out mean and inconsiderate, but the best approach it to simply let it go and move on. Focus on the positive things about yourself or rethink the person’s motivations. Maybe he is the one who is hurt or insecure, trying to deflect his own bad experiences onto someone else. Try your best to forget about it.

I’m not a revenge seeker; I’ve learned that holding on to the terrible feelings only makes mefeel worse, worse than the person I’m angry at feels, even. And having thoughts of revenge only drags on the process unnecessarily. After I cool down, I ask for the the unkind feelings to be removed from my heart and move on. It’s rarely instantaneous but it does work.

13 thoughts on “Thankful, prideful

  1. Good conversations with friends are always refreshing and enjoyable. I think theres a bit of pride in us all, we just have to find ways to overcome it. Keep being thankful!

  2. I especially loved the points you raised about pride. You know, sometimes we there's nothing wrong with giving people the "silent treatment." The "I don't need to talk to you, it's not that I'm angry, I just don't feel it's necessary treatment." We often need to check that, that's the path to humility.

    Thanks for pointing this out…I've made a self-note to myself. :)

    ps: It's the deep conversations with my friends that keep our friendship alive as well…lol.

  3. love this post, sometimes we all want revenge but am learning to be the bigger person in everything. Hope you have a good day

  4. Thanks a lot for this post GNG. It answered a lot of questions i have been having and yeah i am taking this seriously. I actually thought i needed Dr. Phil to get over my Pride, Ego and vengefulness….all i need are a couple good books and good advice so…. Big Ups GNG!

  5. totally feeling you about pride…

    hmm revenge sha…God is a better revenger so I try to leave it to him though letting go isn't easy.

    i join you in thanksgiving

  6. I won't say I'm a proud person, but pride has prevented me from doing a lot of stuff. I really think pride can be good and bad! If you have a little bit of pride, then you will feeel shame! which is good in my books!~


  7. Thankful with you dear!

    I sometimes think about revenge but I have never really carried out my 'wicked' plans.

    But I do exhibit some prideful traits though sometimes and I guess that's just because I am human and I usually apologise afterwards.

  8. i don't consider any of those prideful, that's assertiveness in full glory! lol

    she u dey?

  9. Wow! If I told you that I had issues with my neighbour who called me at 10.30pm yesterday to move my car out the way so she could drive out, would you believe that my mind started conjuring ways to get back at her? I feel so guilty. Reading your post was a real wake-up call! I know the right thing to do…but revenge just seems so sweet atimes. Being a son of God is even sweeter though…much sweeter :D

  10. I find it difficult making friends especialy wen I try and fail so now i prefer being alone nd avoid people especially wen i dont have any serious busines wit them. I wonder if that can be considered as being proud? On thanksgiving i dont think am doing badly,it good to give thanks it adds to one's dignity. Revenge is sweet but remember the bible says 'revenge is of the Lords'

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