Spelling a double-barrel name over the phone is the worst!

In person I just ask for the pen to save time… Lol xx

I think you've missed a couple of crucial points. One reason to keep your name is simply because it is YOUR name. Why should anyone dictate to you what your own surname should be.

To address the lineage question; you stated "Your kids most likely won't take your name." While that is undoubtedly true (at least at present), if you do not keep your own surname there is no way your kids can inherit it. If you keep your own surname, at least the possibility remains.

names into one. And now their son has their hyphenated surname.

Here's what he said about it. (Ripped from my blog post on the same

topic…)

Ryan: I suggested we take eachothers' names because it seemed like the

right thing to do. It just never made sense to me that women have to

take their husband's name while the husband doesn't have to change his

own. When I went to the DMV in Brooklyn to get a new I'd the women

working there showered me with praise–the woman behind the counter

processing my paperwork called all her colleagues over and the made a

big show of whooping it up and telling me how sweet I was. It was the

closest I've ever come to feeling heroic. And probably the most

plessant visit to the DMV that I'll ever have. It was a lot more fun

than making airline or hotel reservations–i find myself, after making

sure they caught the 'c' in Fischer, saying "it keeps going. Hyphen.

H-A-R…."I guess now I understand why men don't change their names.

Aside from ten minutes (ok five) of adoration at the DMV, its a

lifelong pain in the ass….

Ok let me start off by saying this is a personal choice. It also partly has to do with the name you're taking. The cooler the last name, the better.

However, I don't think women should get less respect or feel duty bound to change their name. Feminism should make it possible that we have the freedom to make our own choices. FB feels proud to keep her last name, Ann feels proud to take her husband's name. This is what women can do now.

I personally am super attached to my name. I didn't pick it. My parent's gave it to me, but I've made it mine. I have history with that name, and like FB said, my husband's family didn't contribute anything to my development as a person.

Also it irks me that kids are expected to take the father's name. This is a new age. OBAMA is president. Tradition no longer reigns. Women make as much as, and sometimes more than men. It just really gets me mad because women take care of the kids, pay half or more of the household, basically do more than 50% and the kids don't have their name. Esp. if the man takes off on them! I think for sure, kids should have their mom's name or a hyphen, or at least get to pick.

I don't remember who said the thing about submission but you can bet there is no human being I am submitting to. If I got married, my husband can be proud to have a strong redwood to count on, not a weeping willow tree.

I have never had problems with changing my surname and taking up a husband's name,

I guess its because of the way we were brought up.

but I think if a woman haad good reasons to keep her maiden name, evey understand ing man ( who is secure ) would allow her to.

I have a friend that her husband does not really mind, infact he is encouraging her to keep her maiden name.

Do you not think it a strange coincidence that only women have bad experiences with their fathers/families? Even when men hate their families, they still hold on to their surnames. Why? Because they feel they "own" the surname? Why, then, do women not "own" their surnames. After all, they've had them since birth, just as men have.

You wrote:

"I believe in tradition."

In some parts of Africa girl have their clitorises removed without anaesthetic. That's put down to tradition. I'm afraid tradition ALONE is not a good enough reason to keep something (imo).

"I think men like to have control…"

That some men have such low self-esteem is not a reason for women to accept it.

".. and it makes the family more secure "

Not sure why that should be.

My last name is nice to me. It has a ring to it. But it has one problem. Family. My family has never been a good resource!!! I daresay I would like to detach from it. But this is a sad reason. I want to change my last name to my husband's name to symbolize our relationship to each other. I believe in tradition. I think men like to have control and it makes the family more secure even in the greater society because what one does affects others!!!

I don't plan to have a child necessarily but if we did then the child should definitely have the father's last name. That is the family name.

I think the last name issue is a trend in America that is a reaction to the post-segregation women's rights struggle. So many traditions have been needlessly challenged bringing additional confusion and stress to families and individuals.