When I last shared from the Unexpected series a million years ago, my mom and I were on our way home from a trip to Nigeria in 2016 during which I had met Sayo for the first time. By the end of the trip, Sayo and I had decided to enter into a long-distance relationship. I wanted to keep things about Sayo quiet back home, even with my family, because I didn’t know if things would fizzle as quickly as they’d started.
After spending four blog posts outlining what happened in those first couple of weeks that we spent together, I’m going to cram most of our time apart into one blog post.
My mom was bursting to tell my dad, sister, and brother-in-law that I had met someone. She tried to get me to break the news with meaningful glances while we were updating them on the trip but I didn’t. Finally, she said something like “Jumoke met someone!” in her exuberant way. I probably came across as coy as I downplayed things. I didn’t go into much detail that evening, but as time went on I shared more about Sayo with my family. My sister and brother-in-law were happy for me while my dad reserved his judgment. My sister was surprised that I hadn’t mentioned meeting Sayo in the updates I had shared with her while I was away.
Long-distance relationships can be “out of sight, out of mind”, but Sayo stayed up late so we could talk when I’d get home from work. He woke up early so we could talk before I went to bed and he checked on me throughout the day. He continued to be a man of his word. I genuinely liked him as a person and we had a playful banter from the beginning (a must for me with any guy I’m talking to).
We almost broke up during that first month apart: Sayo thought that because I had agreed to date him that I would be trusting and sweet and that I’d have faith that everything was going to work out. I was the opposite and I’m sure anyone who has been in this situation can relate: whenever we’d have a disagreement I’d calmly say something like “If this isn’t working for you, you should find someone who can give you what you need” because my built-in bodyguard would rather I end things early and keep my protective shell intact, than go through the highs and lows of a relationship. Sayo kept telling me to pray about the relationship. Long-distance relationships aggravate my insecurities and I questioned everything; being apart allowed me to downplay our time together and overthink things. What kinds of things? Read on!