If everything goes according to my heart’s desire (and that happens approximately 0% of the time), I will meet a lovely
Nigerian guy, we will date for a little while, he will propose to me (white gold ring with a modest sparkling stone in hand), and then I will be flung into making decisions like how our families will be introduced to each other, what size of wedding we can afford without having to sell our kidneys and where and when to have the engagement (traditional wedding) and the White wedding.
Right now, my plan is to have the Engagement in Nigeria. This way my extended family will get to meet my groom and they will also get to witness a milestone in my life. Also, it would give us a chance to throw a party that people would hopefully enjoy. The only “problem” with this is I know my non-Nigerian friends would love to see what the Engagement is like, especially when they find out there’s a part of the Yoruba Engagement where the bride is traditionally supposed to kneel in front of her husband to feed him. I won’t deny that as it stands now, I’m thinking of arranging for NEPA taking light during that part of the ceremony so that when the electricity is restored I can say that they all missed me kneeling. Yup, I said it! I understand the tradition with respect to kneeling for elders but a small part of me cringes at this part of the Engagement. I went to a Yoruba/Angolan wedding (groom was from Angola) and when it came time for his bride to kneel to feed him, he actually grabbed her arms and pull her up before she knelt. I want a groom that would do that!
I know, I know, submissive wife…Bible…but I can be submissive without kneeling, can’t I? The other thing I could do is use the “I wasn’t raised in Nigeria so I didn’t know I was supposed to kneel during the Traditional wedding” excuse. I expect the “I wasn’t born in Naija” excuse will get me out of many tight spots in the future! Anyway, the Engagement will be recorded and I can show it to my friends afterwards.
That means the White wedding will be in Canada. This will allow my friends (100% of whom I know will not be able to pack up their families and travel to Nigeria) to see GNG get married. Of course, Nigerian food and attire would be incorporated into this wedding, and I’m quite giddy at the thought of planning it. It’s far more exciting to me to think of planning this than the Engagement, because I don’t think I’ll have any say in the Engagement. I don’t know the traditions and the order the whole thing is supposed to follow; I will just be a puppet that day.
Before I get all excited, I need to find the groom first! With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I’m tempted to organize another Online Meeting Project! Although I can’t announce that any couples from Round 1 are engaged, I have received positive feedback from people who participated. Some bachelors had sent me their info too late and I told them they would be included in the next round.
I have some of questions:
- If you aren’t married yet, how are you thinking of organizing your wedding?
- How many of you married folk felt like you had a lot of say in either the Traditional or White wedding?
- If you live outside of Nigeria, did you split up your Engagement/White weddings like I’m thinking of doing?