What we can learn from a matchmaker

secretsofafixup.gif I am currently reading the book on the left, Secrets of a Fix-Up Fanatic: How to Meet and Marry Your Match (yes, another library loan) and you have to read it. Ok, maybe you don’t have to but it sure has some good tips on things you should make sure you have in order before you go out looking for your man.

Let’s just say I read it and decided that I have a lot of work to do.

But before you rage at the author, she does say that you don’t have to have everything in order before you put yourself out there, but it sure does make you realize that if you think having a man will make things in your life that you don’t like better, you’re probably wrong. A man will not fix the fact that you’re dissatisfied with the city/country you live in, or your job, your lack of friends or (note to self) your body.

I’ll probably do a full review when I’m finished the book.

In the meantime…tell me either something that you thought having a boyfriend would change in your life (but it didn’t) or something that having a boyfriend actually did change.

Here’s mine:

I keep thinking that my lifelong dissatisfaction with my weight will change when I meet that man (who is not a chubby chaser or blubber lover o!) who will just overlook/not notice the fat rolls that plague my body. While this is possible, I know myself. And I know that because I hate the excess fat, I will keep mentioning it (yes, sort of like I do on this blog) and even if he says he doesn’t care about it, I’ll basically bully him and force him to confess that he hates the rolls (just like those cops get false confessions out of innocent people) and then I’ll feel even more miserable because now both of us hate my fat. So the obvious solution is get fit! Mold my body into what I want it to be and then I will be confident that I can find someone who likes my body as much as I like it.

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6 thoughts on “What we can learn from a matchmaker

  1. I thought that having a boyfriend would make me happy…as in, completely happy and oblivious to all things bad…and boy was I wrong. I depended on him for happiness during the relationship, but I wasn't happy at all when it came to things outside of the relationship. I was only happy when I was talking to him.

    Here's a question for you…do you think you'll be happy with your body even after you finish sculpting it? Because I feel like you first have to be happy with what you already have. Even if you'll lose the weight you're still going to feel insecure about other stuff and it just turns into one vicious cycle.

  2. @Rayo – You make some good points, almost like you know me or something! I think I would be happy with my body once I felt like it was "average" or "normal" and I didn't have to depend on plus sized stores to find clothing in my size. Being self critical is a large part of who I am, and I enjoy always having something that needs fixing, but at the very least I'd be happier with my body.

    If you're happy with what you have, why would you change it? I love who I am as a person, but I'm not impressed with much of my outer shell and it's that I'm hoping to change.

  3. Lol. I like, no love this blog! You are funny and very honest.
    I used to think having a boyfriend will make me focused, as in, it will make me not to look at other men and stuff. Omo, na lie o. lol. But God is helping me. I realize that love (commitment) and lust, are two different things.

  4. true, very true indeed,
    alot of us think having a man makes us a better person, some people even think that havin a man makes us happy generally, like its a break thru, u having all u crave all of a sudden,
    the idea itself is crazy, having a man in ur live makes u happy to an extent and maybe make to look at issues that ordinarily would have angered u diff probably becos u are in luv and happy,
    another thing is happin luv not just a man, i think they are two diff thing,

    ride on sista, make ur ink neva dry.

  5. lol @ naija chickito!

    Hmm, I want to read this book. I agree that only you can make you happy. Happiness is a choice.

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